I genuinely kinda hate sleep

I mean, on its own I hate my sleep, cause I have chronic nightmares, I thrash about and make a mess, and my thanatophobia is obviously triggered by it.

But also just the concept in general kinda bugs me. At least for the long amount of time it takes. It's at least 6 hours of sleep every day. And I could really use those 6 hours. Maybe I'd fill to fit it like a fish moced to a larger fish tank, but in any case if I could simply relax for that time and then use the other 18 hours of the day to be productive, id love that. But I unfortunately can't combine recreation and sleep at the same time. And it's just...ugh. I don't know.

Overall I just really wish I could go without something. I wish I could forgo the need for recreation, or the need to sleep, or the need to work, or the need to study marxism [by learning much much easier, not giving up], or my enjoyment for hobbies. I'm not necessarily stretched thin. More just...idk. Marat would work 21 hours a day on his work Chains of Slavery, but the coffee intake nearly killed him, so idk. Also i have anxiety over coffee [i dont like that it messes with my head. Also when people have too much it seems to null its effectiveness] but i know that would help with my problem.