Anyone here have really bad winter depression?

Idk why the fuck around this time of year my brain starts caving in on itself. Spring to autumn im ok then it hits the end of the year then jan/feb i just implode. Then come march april i start being ok again.

I just cant be fucking doing this every year do i need to book a holiday to fucking eyebeefa in winter like all my gammony peers? Im sick of the memories of my life being staring at grey skies why does it hurt me so bad? Its stupid? Why does a grey sky make me sad?

Its like i need a constant feed of valium for 6 months a year im like burning half my life away feeling miserable because its not sunny i cant live like this