BREAKING NEWS: Beloved communist Karl Marx did NOT vote for Zohran Mamdani

Someone with more time than me please photoshop a news article webpage for this.

Bonus sidebar stories:

“Xi’s poker face broken, communists fear this may be the end of China”

“Wondering why you’re feeling stressed about living under capitalism? The reason may surprise you” (subtitle: it’s capitalism)

“LIVE: Engles reaction to viral TikTok video” (thumbnail of headstone)

“Someone named Dick died today”