Childhood best friend would never make the cut now

Admitting that the bar used to be much, much lower, local 38-year-old Jeremy Griffiths confirmed Tuesday that his childhood best friend Ben Martin would never make the cut now. “If we didn’t have decades of memories together, there’s no way that I would have invited him to any important function in my adult life,” said Griffiths, adding that now the two have absolutely nothing in common besides having gone to each other’s houses every weekend for 10 years. [...]