Dressing feminine makes it worse

I want to cry. As long as I don't put any effort into looking feminine. I'm fine. Because if I look like a man it's because I haven't tried. But seeing myself in a dress just highlights everything wrong and I feel awful and my body dysmorphia is 100% stronger. I should feel better but instead I hate it so much.

Edit: Nevermind I got an haircut and a brushing and I slay. Nope I can only see the shadow of my moustache I am sad again

Edit : I am deleting that. It's mostly just the depressed side talking and like it's not so much a thing I need advice about its waiting on my BPD meds