I present, the ultimate reading list to become a cool, quippy dude.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/search/?q=What+is+the+best+response+to+%E2%80%9Cfuck+you%E2%80%9D+%3F+&include_over_18=on&restrict_sr=on&t=all&sort=relevance

the person who you spilled your drink on will be so impressed that you know "fuck" means "to sex with someone", your creative interpretation of their insult as a proposition will knock their socks off.