TL;DR: Gained too much weight after I fell and broke my arm + couldn’t really move for a while. I have a lot of trauma related to sports, like I was forced to play football like any other Hungarian kid, and I was awful at it, which made others be angry at me for it, which made me reluctant to do it. Even if I manage to do it, I often get brutal, crippling muscle pain, which makes me fo it even less.
Since I"m Hungarian, I cannot rely on health care at all, especially mental health, as it was the very first thing that got cut, amd I cannot afford private care.
I just want to say that I appreciate this post so much. I really feel you about the emotional resistance to exercise and how big an obstacle it can be - people don’t talk about it enough. I was bullied a lot in gym class/group sports too, and was in a relationship for a long time with a partner who was very critical about my fitness. Just thinking about “getting exercise” can trigger deep anxiety that makes it feel impossible to get started. It’s a thing I still struggle with.
I second what others have said about starting by looking for opportunities to incorporate movement, rather than setting out saying “I am about to go get me some EXERCISE.” And starting very very gradually. For me, I anticipate the feeling of failure with exercise, so it’s been really important to start with something that feels almost too easy, just to be able to say “I did it.”
A couple things I have learned/try to practice. Some of them sound v cheesy, but have helped me.
Anyway. I hope this is helpful. Thanks again for your post. I’m cheering for you and me both!