Feel free to share any life experiences or anecdotes.

  • Shimitar@feddit.it
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    4 months ago

    Do not marry the first girl you fuck (or the first boy, either way, mixed ways too, anytype anyway).

    Go live with him/her, share an apartment (do not buy together) for months, live together for some time.

    Possibly, break up and meet more people, rinse and repeat until you understand:

    • what you WANT in the other person
    • what you EXPECT from the other person

    And more important even, learn to understand the other person for what he/she is and not what you think he/she is.

    • SendMePhotos@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      My old boss once told me: “when you think you want to marry them… First live with them two years… And when you’re sure… Wait two more years.”

      • Smoogs@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Until they leave you and find someone else who is ready to commit.

        Sometimes if you expect the worst; you make the worst. Get out of your own way.

        • cheers_queers@lemm.ee
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          4 months ago

          why do you see marriage as the only acceptable form of commitment? just curious. in my opinion it takes more commitment to stay without legal ties involved.

        • SamuraiBeandog@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          If you’re in a good relationship but they leave because they couldn’t wait 4 years to get married, then you fucking dodged a bullet. Jesus fucking christ.

          • Smoogs@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            Someone willing to put up with your shit and commit to you is a bullet to be dodged? Mmmk…

            • SamuraiBeandog@lemmy.world
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              4 months ago

              I was with my wife for 10 years before I proposed. We have the best relationship of anyone we know. I know plenty of people who married after a couple of years and are fucking miserable.

              • Smoogs@lemmy.world
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                4 months ago

                So you only count anecdotal evidence that ensures your paranoia about people and apply it to every situation. K.

                • SamuraiBeandog@lemmy.world
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                  4 months ago

                  Paranoia wtf? I’ve formed my opinions from my life experiences, are you trying to tell me you’ve done peer reviewed research to decide what makes a good relationship?

                  • Smoogs@lemmy.world
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                    4 months ago

                    Well you certainly don’t that applies for everyone. And for all I know you, you could be super negative, project the worst scenarios only and/or you could be the problem in all your relationships and this is the excuse you landed on for maintaining a delusion.

                    You could be lying about having a wife just so you can ‘win’ an argument online with a total stranger online.

                    Not a far reach considering your response here.

    • ___@lemm.ee
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      4 months ago

      Meh, sometimes you just know after seeing who’s out there. I wouldn’t recommend breaking off something good and risking not getting it back because of your insecurities.

      • Shimitar@feddit.it
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        4 months ago

        Indeed, in fact, as soon as the above questions are satisfied, that’s when you stop.