• lilypad [it/its, pup/pup's]@hexbear.net
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    11 days ago

    This just makes me irrationally angry. Get up against the fucking wall mfers like goddamn way to show that you dont understand a goddamn thing about gender, or about gendered labour relations, you fucking hatemonger shitstains of people, fuck you. Fuck i think i need to logout, or at least retreat back to the trans mega.

  • Keld [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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    11 days ago

    I think that while terfs should be banned, it seems reasonable for there to be a forum for women over 40 to discuss dating. I don’t know the nature of the subject in question. But what it purports to be seems fine.

    The moderators are of course failing to ban bigots

    Oof. This place is bad. Terfy, swerfy, anti kink., and cloaking support of right wing politics in pseudo feminism and its all from the mods down.

    • Belly_Beanis [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      11 days ago

      “Could it be I’m still single at 40 because all I attract with my bigotry is other bigots, especially misogynistic bigots? No, clearly it’s the trans women, who are firebombing Chicago as part of the auntie Vuh supersoldier terrorist network.”

        • XiaCobolt [she/her]@hexbear.net
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          11 days ago

          Yeah I had a skim of their front page transphobia, homophobia, biphobia, lesbophobia, racism, xenophobia, Islamophobia, classism, SWERFism etc.

          The difference is that femaledatingstrategy despite having all the above still did a lot criticism of reactionary and misogynistic cishet male behaviour, which this lacks.

          It’s like looking at all the fucked up stuff Jordan Peterson said and saying okay no more of this cleaning your room shit. Like the one “Brock clock being right twice a day” has gone.

          • Keld [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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            11 days ago

            All I can really say is that I see bigotry, openly and explicitly as a policy by the moderators, and that this makes it a space for bigots by bigots. I cant comment on the history of the place or what worth a different sub could have had. I assume you know what youre talking about

            • XiaCobolt [she/her]@hexbear.net
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              11 days ago

              Yeah definitely this place is vile and full of bigots. And I must say nothing above was a defence of r/FDS it was equally awful.

              But the latter would occasionally make other terrible bigots mad when they called out the actual shitty behaviour of specific men.

              Reddit chuds calling them misandrists and stuff like that. Real let-them-fight moment

      • lilypad [it/its, pup/pup's]@hexbear.net
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        11 days ago

        When i see mainstream feminisms history, i see a history of white cishet women who want to be equal to white men and no longer be oppressed by them, but still want to be superior to black women and trans women and the “bad” white cishet women. They want to throw off their own chains but retain the chains of others that benefit them. Theres a clear line from then to now imo. And like, the problem isnt that terfs arent feminists, the problem is that they are feminists.

        Thats not to say feminism is worthless, but its history and its mainstream aspects have been overwhelmingly white, cis, and focused on a very narrow definition of liberation.

        • Angel [any]@hexbear.net
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          11 days ago

          Yep. Glad to see other people saying it. People need to understand that feminism is not based and revolutionary by default. To me, as far as I’m concerned, “feminism” when discussed in a vacuum, without any qualifiers, is talking about a bigoted, exclusionary, and non-intersectional movement. This is why I do not trust feminists unless the emphasis on genuinely inclusive, intersectional, and leftist principles is made unequivocal. I do not consider myself a feminist anymore, but I will call myself a womanist, which still makes me a feminist by definition but does a good job at incorporating a revolutionary, Black-centered fervor while still using a singular term that rolls off the tongue just as well.

          • lilypad [it/its, pup/pup's]@hexbear.net
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            10 days ago

            Glad to see other people saying it.

            Im glad, like ive had problems with feminism basically since i started engaging with it, but i always dismissed it as me not understanding, and reading black womens understandings and criticisms of feminism helped me understand my own issues with it, and the ways ive perpetuated that same shit.

            white girl talking about racism

            It also made me more confident in trying to address the racism within my family, at times as a false conciousness and (far more) often as a genuine conciousness (because we assimilated into whiteness and benefit from it, and also because theres people of colour in the family). Literally ran into this yesterday trying to get my mother to understand some of the issues with handmaidens tale.

            bigoted, exclusionary, and non-intersectional movement.

            seriously. like, the people who have explicitly called themselves feminists and not added qualifiers have been far more likely to engage in “lowkey” transphobia towards me, explicit racism towards others, etc., its fucked.

            womanist […] does a good job at incorporating a revolutionary, Black-centered fervor while still using a singular term that rolls off the tongue just as well.

            I really like finding new terms ^^ both in breaking from something that isnt functional and in that when someone doesnt have a whole history to associate with a term theyre more likely to inquire as to what my views actually are instead of projecting onto me. Also revolutionary Black centered fervor is fucking needed and having terms that reflect it is really good

            (maybe weird) thanks - idk, i struggle to understand what is socially appropriate and this feels like maybe it isnt but im uncertain.

            Just as a side note i see your posts around and they are like always on fucking point. Genuinely, youve contributed to the development of my own understandings of the world.

        • mickey [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          10 days ago

          Yup, I got nothing to add to this but I concur. I definitely had lefty friends back when I was a baby lib try to explain this. Some people like to use the more old fashioned term women’s liberation, or womanist like Angel offered below your reply, to avoid confusion and/or make this exact critique on the bourgeois origins of feminism.

    • Belly_Beanis [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      11 days ago

      That person doesn’t even bother explaining that one, either lol. I guess the hatred is just a given amongst them and they don’t need to explain it?

  • leafperson [any, any]@hexbear.net
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    11 days ago

    they reason themselves out of their belief that “claiming woman hood dilutes womens issues” and just kept going by changing the problem to being “claiming to face issues that bio women face” which is just a strawman? I think the majority of feminists try to target issues with society, nobody is protesting to get rid of periods, and anyone perceived as a woman is going to face the biases that create the system of misogyny, regardless of bio sex.

  • bloubz@lemmygrad.ml
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    11 days ago

    But… she doesn’t even explain her point? I guess this is because there is no explanation and it’s purely based on transphobia or something. I would be glad to hear her actual point, so that we could prove her wrong, but now there’s juste nothing to argue about