You must log in or # to comment.
I’ve always hated this phrase. What does it even mean?!
I’m gonna ramble a bit because I’m not entirely sure what you’re asking:
Emotional intelligence comes from understanding what you’re feeling, when, and why. A lot of people, particularly those who never introspect, skip this step, or maybe don’t even know how to do it.
A lot of therapy ultimately comes down to helping a person navigate the disagreements between the values they supposedly hold and the actions they actually take (or alternatively, the things that have happened to them). You can’t really navigate (I use “can’t” somewhat loosely) the dissonance between these two things without knowing what your mind (shame, frustration, jealousy) is telling you.
To intellectualize your feelings is to distance yourself from them by remaining cold and logical. So, it would be fine, naturally, if something traumatic happened, but it never actually made you feel angry. You could just mozy on with your life, I suppose. It would be another thing entirely if it did anger you greatly, and instead of processing that anger, you just went right to funeral scheduling or other busy work—stuff that solves the problem but not your problem, you know? This is the kind of thing that gets people to explode on Thanksgiving over their uncle not passing the salt fast enough or something.
Yes but if i did that thing I’d kill myself in about five minutes. So really I’m doing the healthy thing.
I can’t help it. Emotions are irrational nonsense.
I can feel empathy and apply it to many circumstances. I feel injustices very strongly. I’ve felt infatuation and its addiction many times, but love baffles me. It is like a word without meaning, akin to calling yourself smart. If it is not self evident, the point of the word is mute. It may be closest to cohabitation in a way; like an almost masochistic willful endurance. Is it friendship with addiction and usefulness. Perhaps I should partner with a chat bot and heroin. Curiosity is my favorite emotion. I use curiosity to emulate all the rest. People that feel their emotions, appear unstable and unreliable to me; seeking validation for being bad people; seeking justification for narcissism, sadism, or masochism.
Ok I kinda can understand you, but not really.
Love is just a bad word in the human language. It is so nebulous. It can mean anything from love for an action, an abstract concept over love for your family and friends to romantically love for persons.
So you say you don’t understand love? You don’t love your mother or father? You never liked your friends?
I am just curious not wanting to judge you or anything.
Sorry, I was being extremely abstract and dense in an attack on the nebulosity of the word love. I find the word rather useless and often spurious or even malicious. Real love is self evident.
If a person feels a need to say I love you, I think one may analyze and find that this behavior has no meaning, and often has the opposite effect. If I need to say I love you, I am projecting my internal assumptive state onto you without effectively aligning my internal state with your needs and perception of the relationship.
That act of communication could indeed be done with love, but only if you are emotionally insecure, with short temporal self awareness, and a shallow emotional depth.
If I am self aware on this level, one must question the egalitarian nature of our relationship. It is likely that we are very mismatched in terms of Machiavellian personality spectrum, and that likely implies a layer of manipulative coercion in the worst case scenario.
On the opposite end of potential, I am projecting a state I desire you to occupy. If that state is not entirely self evident in my actions, what is my purpose in making the statement. Am I setting goals. Am I correcting course. Am I having an epiphany from my temporal amnesia as the singular brain cell between my ears periodically resets.
Love is like intelligence, those like myself that feel the need to talk about it, likely do not have any, and certainly those that call themselves smart are anything but. If my love is not self evident, speaking otherwise is to cause complacency at best, and malicious coercion at worst. To tell me that you feel loved, is to give a great complement. To tell you I love you, is to reflect my lack of self awareness, laziness, and limited heuristic attention to the needs of the relationship.
To be clear, there is nothing wrong with saying I love you. I am referring to a very subtle and deeper layer of ambiguous meaning. I am pinning down one of the underlying issues that causes the conceptual nebulosity to call the word insufficient or even malevolent.
Lastly, the comment on a bot and heroin are playing on the idea that we are all just chemistry, so why not play to the most effective solutions to the needs, while picking obviously harmful mechanisms, implying an equivocal dynamic in relationships, to invalidate both premises.
