Rugby be like “keep your filthy hands off my gourd!!”

And baseball is a spitwad toss

I will not take this lemon slander

Golf: that egg didn’t break, better go find it and try again

Ice hockey be like “gimme de patty or I’ll beat you.”

Hockey is like: “I hate you, goalie man, eat this hard disk of rubber imma hit at you with a club.”

Baseball like: give u three chances to hit this onion over that fence

Fencing is fairly straight forward (and poke).

football is all like “ew i don’t want to touch this panda egg”

Curling: Let’s play with some really clean rocks.

These are great ways to describe sports.

In tennis, I’m pretty sure it’s a lime.

Tennis used to be played with a snowball.