I’m 41F. I was married but separated 8 years ago. I was still young but was very traumatized and never really wanted another relationship. Lately I’ve been feeling a little lonely and would like to meet some new people but I moved and don’t have many friends here and the ones I have are younger and do younger people things (like going out at night. I’m too old for that lol). I wanted to meet some people my age, friends or dates, but almost everyone is married. I do cooking and French classes but again, only young people do that and I’m the “odd old lady”. I think people past 40 don’t really have hobbies or money to spend on them. I’m overweight so I can’t really use apps, and to be honest don’t really want. So how a single woman without kids (can’t have it) meet people?! Or do I just give up?! lol
I dont know if you enjoy singing , but in many countries here in Europe, there are lots of choirs for all types of music, as well as for beginners, for almost professionals and usually all ages mixed or lots of people above 40. Usually people go for a drink after rehearsal but not for the alcohol but for the company. In my choir many that come to the bar after rehearsal just drink something nonalcoholic.
Here, 40 is also an age where people still go to bars without feeling weird about it. Of course there are a few bars only full of Students but there are still lots of bars with people above 40 too.
like going out at night. I’m too old for that lol
WTF.
I’m 49, you are absolutely not too old to be going out. You’re also not to old to be in the middle of the mosh pit.
lol! I meant I don’t have the patience for young drunk people anymore. I only know a couple of 28yo here and went out with them one night… guess who was puked on? lol
I was done with partying when I was in my twenties, honestly. It doesn’t give me anything. I can’t hear people talking, we always lose each other in the crowd, it’s stuffy, people are obnoxious when drunk, etc etc etc, blech.
I much prefer a social thing at someone’s house with at most like 5-8 people, maximum. Preferably max 4. Then everyone can be heard, get a chance to speak, not too loud, bathroom close at hand, cheaper drinks that don’t empty your pockets, access to more fun things not available in a club/restaurant like video/board games, movies, etc etc etc.
Organize a local Lemmy meetup for 40+ year olds! Lol
I am in my mid 40s myself. I think the default advice is to just find social hobby groups and meet people that way. The more you put yourself out there, the more chance you have to make a connection. Also, I don’t think it’s a problem to be the “odd old lady” - wear that badge with pride IMO.
my gay friend group would do ANYTHING for an odd old lady
You know what, I could use some self esteem classes from a gay friend group!
I’d like to know too.
My childhood friend ditched his family and swapped for a younger woman from work about a decade ago. Marriage was not the happiest, but I think he jumped the gun. Now the younger woman ditched him and he’s alone. His now teenage child is keeping touch, but is not happy about their history.
Guy is miserable and I’m afraid suicide is an option.
Can’t get him to take a new hobby, interest or activity. He’s been drowning himself in work and I don’t think it’s helping.
With men it’s easier because there are men’s groups. Have your friend join a men’s group. I mean, if he wants to get over his shit. If he’s asking. If he’s not, you can’t really help him.
Where are these “men’s groups” you speak of? As a “man,” I’ve not heard of any, at least none that aren’t inherently linked to toxic masc MAN-man personality traits.
