It has been several months since I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and I can only say: it is horrible. I would not wish it on anyone with even a small amount of good in them.

I just got out of an psychotic episode in which I accused my best friend of plotting against me because she knew of a communist party I was going to form and that I was blessed by the gods to do their work on Earth. I keep hearing voices and the only way I can accept them is to think of them as gods. These ideas may sound insane, and they are, but it’s impossible to get rid of them. I keep making connections which aren’t there and subconsciously form my own reality out of nothing.

I wish I could be normal. I wish I did not hear voices. I wish I did not see things which were not there. I wish I could separate fantasy from reality.