I have had about four hours of sleep. I have a house guest that is a slob. I have had to clean my coffee table four times now and put back in it’s place. And vacuum things up twice. I love my friend but I’m starting to have meltdowns. I’m trying to hide them which I know just makes things worse.
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Working with an injured food. I’m anxious. My panic disorder reared its ugly head after being gone for a year. Panic attacks are back boys.
Being angry at RFK JR doesn’t help either.
The only good thing lately is I started achievement hunting in Euro Truck Sim 2. That is comforting.
First day after I resigned from a somewhat toxic workplace. Currently working on obtaining Apostille for my recent psych eval to be potentially used for my future workplace
I might need to get groceries today… Not sure what to get yet
Dropped my new car off at the body shop because my neighbor decided to hit it while trying to park. The rental car is tiny and smells like someone smoked in it. I’m telling myself “it’s only for 10 days” but I really hope they get done with it early.
After today I have the rest of the week off. Didn’t realize you could get senioritis in your late 20s but here I am.
I went to a bike shop I worked a bit last year to ask if they need extra hands for a couple days a week, they obviously needed help, but the owner is really slow at making decisions. So I went to buy some filler to fix walls at home, but then I just continued with a table project that’s been postponed because of the renovation project instead of doing the walls. And did some maintenance on my bikes.
I quit a customer service job - which I was super excited to get into as it is somewhat new bike-related field - two weeks ago, and got back to fixing bikes. Financially a risky move, but I realized I’m slowly drifting towards burnout. Well, tbh the job wasn’t at all as promising or interesting as I originally thought and the pay was shit. I tend to end up in uncontrollable anxiety loops if I feel trapped in a situation and just rationalizing out of it rarely helps, it just leads to burnout if nothing changes. But well, it was a valuable experience and I’m again much more aware of my needs and capabilities. And that I really should stick to the decision to avoid customer service jobs even though I’m fairly good at it.
Next challenge is to tackle the anxiety about uncertainty and feelings of inferiority because I’ve again quit something that was expected of me. But then again I feel much better now that I again have more physical contact with the world.
Sometimes I feel that having AuDHD is like working with a race horse.
