My go to whenever I hear any kind of bump in the night is to grab something that can be used as a weapon and make sure I’m completely naked.
In the infinitesimally small chance it’s some kind of spirit or ghoul I will try to fuck it, b cause it’s what it would least expect. If it’s a human intruder I will attack it, and I just assume that the shock of seeing a nearly 40 year old fully nude dad bod coming at them screaming and brandishing a weapon will create a moment of confusion that I can use to my advantage.
Sound strategy. Always keep a bat by your bed with a sock worn over the tip. That way, if they try to grab the bat out of your hand, they will just grab the sock, and it will slip off.
My go to whenever I hear any kind of bump in the night is to grab something that can be used as a weapon and make sure I’m completely naked.
In the infinitesimally small chance it’s some kind of spirit or ghoul I will try to fuck it, b cause it’s what it would least expect. If it’s a human intruder I will attack it, and I just assume that the shock of seeing a nearly 40 year old fully nude dad bod coming at them screaming and brandishing a weapon will create a moment of confusion that I can use to my advantage.
Sound strategy. Always keep a bat by your bed with a sock worn over the tip. That way, if they try to grab the bat out of your hand, they will just grab the sock, and it will slip off.