https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reactance_(psychology)
In psychology, reactance is an unpleasant motivational reaction to offers, persons, rules, regulations, advice, recommendations, information, nudges, and messages that are perceived to threaten or eliminate specific behavioral freedoms. Reactance occurs when an individual feels that an agent is attempting to limit one’s choice of response and/or range of alternatives.
I’m going to assume you were raised by at least one narcisist. This hits way too close to my childhood, and I’ve been out from under my parents’ thumbs for well over a decade now.
Good luck getting out, and with the therapy that you seriously should look into. That I seriously need to schedule.