Bose Quiet Comfort II true wireless headphones.

I’d been toying with the idea forever. My earbuds are old, a little bulky, have some connectivity issues when one disconnects and it takes a lot of fussing to get them reconnected. So I decided to spend the money.

I get them from B&H. I get home, put them in, one of them has some sound issues—but other than that, the sound and fit were perfect. Like, they were my glass slipper. They fit perfectly, the seal was perfect, they wouldn’t ever hurt my ears after extended use…I was shocked.

But.

Having issues with one, I started messing with them, seeing if could get support or troubleshoot. Of course the first thing in the box is a QR for their app. Now, I never fuck with physical products apps. If I need an app, chances are I won’t use your shit. But I really wanted these to work, so I go to the app, and dig through the privacy policy.

Two addenda later, they’re trying to get me to sign the most obscene privacy policy ever. Listen to/record everything I play, collect a profile on me, listen to any ambient noise around the microphone, and weirdly, “map my head shape and movements?”

I deleted that app as quickly as I could. So I go to their support page on their site. Get into a chat with their customer service bot. It says, “replying to this message is agreement to our privacy policy.” So I open the link, read it…it kinda seems reasonable. Just talking about using my chat responses for training, standard. But then THREE layers of addenda deep I find here trying to get me to sign THE EXACT SAME FUCKIN POLICY.

I ran those fuckers back to the store. But not before trying to get someone on the phone about the legal matters. Yeah, nah. They wouldn’t connect me to someone in their legal dept. In fact, the very request seemed to puzzle them to no end.

FUCK BOSE. READ YOUR PRIVACY POLICIES.