Thank you. It all happened so quickly and things got worse than I ever could have imagined, it doesn’t feel real. (Google Steven Johnson’s Syndrome/TENs if you like nightmare fuel.)
Medically she’s ready to be discharged to an inpatient physio centre now, but she just won’t eat or drink. I’ve just come back from my daily visit and she told me I was rude and condescending and that she used to love me but doesn’t anymore. She doesn’t have dementia or Alzheimer’s - this is just the effect of a fever on a very frail and weak older person who had very intensive chemo and immunotherapy.
I was only asking her to drink one sip of the high calorie drink. They’ll put her back on the nasal feeding tube if she doesn’t start eating again and then she will need to stay in the hospital. It’s so frustrating, incredibly upsetting and beyond exhausting. I was so tired today I just burst into tears when she started being nasty. Normally I can hide it, but it was too much today.
Without going into too much detail (because it isn’t really my story to tell) a close friend of mine recently went through something that was very similar. The woman has passed now but the impact on the individual family members and the relationships within the family continue to play out. Almost none of it is positive.
There were some very hard decisions to be made and disagreements about how delicate the situation was or wasn’t. People drifted in and out of the picture in the final months and several aren’t on speaking terms now that she’s passed.
Before the mental decline everyone’s assumption was that there would be fighting about money and inheritance. As it turned out the argument was about human decency more than anything.
Again, I’m sorry you have to experience it. I don’t have anything more to offer than encouragement to do right by yourself and your loved ones wishes. Make sure you can live with a clear conscience.
Thank you, I appreciate it. I’m sorry for dumping that on you, it was a bit cathartic after a horrible day!
Luckily (?) we’re pretty close to the bread line so there’s nothing to argue about RE her will. We had a weirdly similar situation with an extended family member inserting themselves into the discussions around my mums care with a completely different opinion than everyone else and they caused nothing but more upset and angst. I guess situations like this really can bring out the best and worst in people.
Thank you for the advice about listening to my conscience. When everything is so uncertain and confusing I guess it’s the only thing I can rely on. And I know in my heart that I’m doing everything that I can to help my mum and that if she were well she’d be grateful not hurtful.
Thank you. It all happened so quickly and things got worse than I ever could have imagined, it doesn’t feel real. (Google Steven Johnson’s Syndrome/TENs if you like nightmare fuel.)
Medically she’s ready to be discharged to an inpatient physio centre now, but she just won’t eat or drink. I’ve just come back from my daily visit and she told me I was rude and condescending and that she used to love me but doesn’t anymore. She doesn’t have dementia or Alzheimer’s - this is just the effect of a fever on a very frail and weak older person who had very intensive chemo and immunotherapy.
I was only asking her to drink one sip of the high calorie drink. They’ll put her back on the nasal feeding tube if she doesn’t start eating again and then she will need to stay in the hospital. It’s so frustrating, incredibly upsetting and beyond exhausting. I was so tired today I just burst into tears when she started being nasty. Normally I can hide it, but it was too much today.
Without going into too much detail (because it isn’t really my story to tell) a close friend of mine recently went through something that was very similar. The woman has passed now but the impact on the individual family members and the relationships within the family continue to play out. Almost none of it is positive.
There were some very hard decisions to be made and disagreements about how delicate the situation was or wasn’t. People drifted in and out of the picture in the final months and several aren’t on speaking terms now that she’s passed.
Before the mental decline everyone’s assumption was that there would be fighting about money and inheritance. As it turned out the argument was about human decency more than anything.
Again, I’m sorry you have to experience it. I don’t have anything more to offer than encouragement to do right by yourself and your loved ones wishes. Make sure you can live with a clear conscience.
Thank you, I appreciate it. I’m sorry for dumping that on you, it was a bit cathartic after a horrible day!
Luckily (?) we’re pretty close to the bread line so there’s nothing to argue about RE her will. We had a weirdly similar situation with an extended family member inserting themselves into the discussions around my mums care with a completely different opinion than everyone else and they caused nothing but more upset and angst. I guess situations like this really can bring out the best and worst in people.
Thank you for the advice about listening to my conscience. When everything is so uncertain and confusing I guess it’s the only thing I can rely on. And I know in my heart that I’m doing everything that I can to help my mum and that if she were well she’d be grateful not hurtful.
Thank you again for the kind wishes and advice 💕