Also would be very interested to hear from those who were involuntarily treated themselves

  • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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    7 months ago

    Have you ruled out the possibility of them actually being targeted? Aside from this belief, what is wrong in their life that it warrants violating their right to self determination? Are they hurting people?

    • dhcmrlchtdj__@lemmy.worldOP
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      7 months ago

      That’s entirely possible and, yes, I ultimately fully want to respect their autonomy and do not want to commit them against their will. In the past though, they have talked about plans of ending their life and have seriously harmed themself in an attempt. And I can’t really say that there’s anything ‘wrong’ with their life but they do seem very, very miserable. While don’t wish to make a judgement of the quality of their life or insist on how they should be living, I do want them to feel less torment. Its sometimes hard to be sure of the extent of their anguish, because they’re so unwilling to talk about it.

      • elshandra@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        Have you tried writing to them? This helped my partner and I. Tell them how you feel, your worries, what you want and why. Give them as much time as they need to process it and respond.

      • SomeoneElse@lemmy.ca
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        7 months ago

        This is similar to my situation in that my mum is not dying right now. She keeps saying she wants to die and we have made the doctors aware of that and that we don’t want heroic life saving measures. But there’s a grey area around things like NG tubes and IV electrolytes. Should my mum be allowed to slowly starve herself to death, even though she could go on to lead a full and healthy life for at least 5 years if she just ate? Yes, if she truly understands that’s the choice she’s making. But there’s no way she would choose a slow undignified death in hospital if she was in her right mind. I just know she wouldn’t. If she gets through this though, if she gets home and regains her senses, I will fully accept her decision if she decides to take her life before the cancer finishes her off. I’ll help her procure whatever she needs even.

        With regards to your situation, based on my experiences right now, I don’t think I’d force them to be committed. It doesn’t sound like something that can be functionally cured, like it is in my mums case. It doesn’t sound like a psychotic break, more like long standing psychological issues. And if they can’t be cured, what’s the point in causing yourself and your loved one further distress? Mental health care usually requires ongoing treatment and patient compliance. Can you envision them ever sticking to the medication regime they require?

        Sorry, I know I’m being a bit blunt, I’m just so exhausted from this I don’t have the bandwidth to phrase it more kindly. Only you can make the decision (which sucks) only you will have to deal with the fall out (which sucks more). If they’re not hurting themselves or others I’d follow another commentators advice and write a reassuring but encouraging letter to your loved one, urging them to seek help in order to live a happier life. Beyond that I don’t think there’s a way to get them help against their will without them hating you. And them hating you when you’re only trying to do what’s best for them is truly one of the worst feelings in the world. Best of luck, and I’m sorry for what you’re going through.