![[CW: Transphobia] hot take: trans kids should have normal childhoods, actually](https://lem.lemmy.blahaj.zone/pictrs/image/eb280989-bc26-4156-aeb8-c1dc4c15465d.webp){kind=link}
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A 4 panel comic. In the first panel, a character stands on a cliff, addressing an audience, and says “trans kids should not get puberty blockers”. In the second panel, the audience, armed and labeled “cis people”, looks content. In the third panel, the character on the cliff says “they should get hrt so they can go through the right puberty at the same time as their cis peers”. In the fourth panel, the audience, still labeled “cis people”, looks angry at the character.
if you’re cis and seeing this: keep your concern trolling to yourself.
What you’re describing is yet another form of violence that these sorts of practices inflict, which is the refusal of self-recognition to trans/gnc people. This is a very common thing, and understandably so, because being forced to be cis when you aren’t is incredibly traumatizing and harmful to one’s mental health. Every disorder I have, I exhibit symptoms as a woman, and always have, which meant that I wasn’t diagnosed with major learning disabilities at a young age because I didn’t show symptoms that matched my gender at birth. Cumulative negative health effects are a major problem for trans people who so often experience depression, anxiety, and PTSD alongside negative effects from not only being refused gender-affirming care, but also even the self-understanding to recognize who they are and what they need.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that, and it is important to remember that it is never too late. I also started when I was older, and I’m being serious, I felt happy for the first time in my life within two weeks of starting HRT. I didn’t even realize that I had been experiencing derealization for most of my life until I was on HRT long enough to actually feel connected to my body and the world around me. That isn’t the case with everyone – and please do not think it hasn’t worked for you if you start and don’t feel “fixed” after two weeks – but I point this out because I also spent a very long time knowing I was trans and thinking I didn’t need the HRT, or that I didn’t need to make a big deal out of it, but a few injections was all it took to start healing from decades of trauma. Hope you get whatever you need.
Thank you so much for this sincere, kind hearted response.
Would you consider it violence if they didn’t actually know to go there? I know it was a different time 30 years ago. Not all my Drs were bad necessarily. And I was young enough thatI have a hard time recalling everything with every doctor. But even the one that cared most that started doing things with medications off label just for psychiatric conditions and seem to really care, she had gotten into it because her husband had committed suicide because he was having a psychiatric condition to do with mental illness. She seemed like she wanted to make a difference even. And I had never brought it up to anybody personally, and I’m not sure if I was still kind of being homophobic myself at that point in time, you know the '90s and everybody calls everything gay and, you sure don’t want to be recognized as gay because apparently that’s a bad thing since we’re calling everything. We don’t like gay. And we don’t want our friends to make fun of us for being bad and be outcast. And I was potentially at the point in time where I was leaning into trying to grow a beard and have long hair and wear only heavy metal band t-shirts, and cuss a lot and try to be edgy you know? Like I guess some sort of typical teenager stuff but. I’m not even sure I can blame it on the psychiatrists if I was being so withdrawn about all my feelings and concerns. But at the same time I wonder you know if they’re so observational about things that I can get labeled with you know attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, oppositional defines disorder, major depressive whatever the fuck order, God I know there was more of you but I forgot. Run me through half a dozen, different stimulants and other half a dozen antidepressants of several different categories, and even a few medications that were used for other things. Like I said she was kind of experiment with all label use. at the same time though I mean if a Dr cared that much, it just confuses me to why that wouldn’t even be something. Consider going down the checklist when you have a patient That’s a teenage person that is allegedly very troubled and also getting into a lot of alleged trouble and having issues with self-harm and substance abuse, like why wouldn’t that at least be something you would spend 2 minutes asking about? Like I said I don’t know. Maybe it was just the times and they didn’t think to do that and I don’t know. Maybe they still don’t do that these days. The last time I even had a therapist I had to bashfully talk about how I had been talking to somebody online and she didn’t understand it first and thought I was just talking about making a friend, and I kind of kept going and she figured out it was a dating a site and I think she thought it was a girl. But I eventually managed to get her to understand that. I had been talking to a older gentleman and it seemed really nice and we’ve been in correspondence. I guess I’m just trying to give some of them the benefit of the doubt. Just seems though that if we’re going to try to diagnose things based on a whole plethora of symptoms. Maybe gender identity would be something you’d want to at least go over briefly and consider.
I guess I didn’t realize that they diagnosed things like PTSD and pressing them anxiety or those types of things based on gender. I mean that’s interesting to know too. I might have to look into that.
I do keep making casual comments and sarcastic comments to my friends and family about starting on HRT. I guess I just don’t really know where to start or where to go or what chemical compounds to look into. Although I’ve read a lot on here, I always pay attention to all the trans ladies posts evenI don’t make any comments. Then things like you know being too old, being too hairy, like my ex-wife would always talk about how it was so sexy that I had a Hairy chest and and she never liked it when I would shave my facial hair. I mean I guess I look like some kind of a Sasquatch lumberjack if I just let everything go you know. I wonder how that works on top of HRT. Like is there electrolysis needed on top of shaving and everything else? I already struggle with alcoholism and some substance abuse. Just think about adding other things on top of it. Concerns me too. Like in addition, if I’d be motivated to do things like worry about the body hair, how new pills are going to play into my poor abused liver and kidneys, heart or whatever. But I do fantasize about If I started and finally did, just feel like myself for the first time. And wonder if I’ve acted the way I have most of my life because I didn’t realize that I’d didn’t feel like myself, and between everything and society, doctors, parents, peers, just wasn’t able to even understand that that was a possibility that I was not vibing with life because I wasnt really myself. I know just in high School, it was incredibly difficult to fight through the emotions and the logic and the feelings I was having about realizing at that time that I was considering myself bisexual. And I thought there was some kind of liberation and that once I finally did and it’s kind of evolved from there to being even more open on that spectrum. But something still didn’t quite feel right. Anyway I guess yeah I don’t know much about the entire process and all the different options and physical changes and what not but. Even if I could just take something I don’t know what it would be estrogen or something, even if it didn’t create physical changes and just made me feel like more comfortable in my own body, that would be pretty fucking amazing because I’ve tried a whole plethora of pharmaceuticals that have been prescribed to me over the years to try to fix me up and make me feel like myself, and also a self-medicated with a plethora of recreational substances starting with curiosity, but it’s led to be maintenance to just not debilitated. And maybe all I or needed with something like astridge and all along. I guess I wouldn’t even know where to start though. Just talk to my primary care physician or a specialist online DIY and I just don’t know the thought of that becomes overwhelming to. You know it’s such a big hurdle to even consider. Trying to jump over and see how it goes. On top of all the questioning yourself, if that’s really what you need and the like. But I have heard a few different people or read their posts. I guess comments like you said it took you 2 weeks after you started and you weren’t sure about it and then you felt like yourself for the first time after some injections. So yeah I’m kind of just doing a speech to text here and this is going to be a wall of text so I apologize, but your comment was really appreciated and thoughtful and encouraging and gave me more to think about. So thank you for that
if you want to start diy, you should ask on !diyhrt@lemmy.blahaj.zone about where to start! none of this stuff is a closely guarded secret :)
as for some other questions scattered through your big wall of text:
you can get electrolysis or laser hair removal, but nothing is needed unless you want it. if you don’t wanna shave or remove your body hair that doesn’t mean anything, you can just be a hairy woman (or whatever else)!
this would be a good reason to avoid taking oral estrogen. most transfeminine people i know opt for gel, patches or injections precisely because of the effect on the liver when taking oral estrogen.
relatable