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wizardbeard

@ wizardbeard @lemmy.dbzer0.com

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2363
Joined
3 yr. ago

  • Understandable fear of anger

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  • This touches upon another fun bit of the trauma I think.

    At least for me, growing up I got in a lot of trouble for taking certain tones with my parents that I wasn't aware I was projecting. In retrospect, at least some of that was only the adult justifying their anger. (Unrelated to abusive childhood, I also have an ex that just directly gaslit me as intentional manipulation, not as some sort of anger management issue)

    So I have some trauma about whether or not I can trust my own interpretation of events. I know I don't have an amazing memory, and I can misread situations.

    Which makes it that much harder when I am in fact certain about something.

  • What's your opinion on prostitution?

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  • Yeah, from the sort of cold, heartless, detached, and incredibly oversimplifying level that those sorts of governmental decisions happen at... selling sex is one of the few things just about anyone can technically do. It's also the kind of thing that it would be hard to prove doesn't have effectively infinite demand.

    I can totally see bureaucrats going: "You've got working holes, go get to it."

    Let me say again, that's a horrid oversimplification of reality, but one that I can easily imagine coming out of government organizations.

  • Deleted

    Permanently Deleted

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  • I put a few years into a Comp Sci BS at a "new Ivy League" University, realized I didn't mesh with the teaching style at all (still have a massive chip on my shoulder and strong strong fucking opinions about how coding ought to be taught) and if I had to spend 8 hours a day coding I would kill myself. Also went through a deep depression and some life shit. Got placed on academic probation and effectively took that as my sign it was done.

    A few years later I was having trouble finding employment, so I signed up for an Associates degree in Computer Information Systems at a local community college. I was able to transfer a good amount of credits from my first attempt, but the way classes were scheduled I ended up taking two years anyway just with a very light course load.

    By the time I graduated I was already employed full time in IT support, with an obvious path upward. I didn't bother going to the graduation ceremony.

    Now I'm the best programmer/scripter on a sysadmin/infraops team, the majority of my workdays are spent scripting automations and shit that no one should ever have to try and do manually (sometimes coding a full 8 hour shift) and I love it.

    I'm happy I went back and "finished" things. It was a wildly different and better experience with some more years under me and at an institution where I was actually treated like a human being.

    Maybe I could have had the same at the first place with a lighter course load, but I don't think I had the right mindset or the right teachers, even if I hadn't been as overwhelmed.

    At some point during my second attempt, I finally hit a point with programming where I was able to effectively split the concepts/theory from the writing of the code/execution of the theory. I developed my personal approach to programming that isn't particularly unique, but I was never really guided towards it by any instructor or learning material.

    I will never be a full on Software Developer, a true Computer Scientist. I don't need or want to be.

    I don't program and script for the sake of it. For the joy of the art. I'm not going to argue CPU architecture, data organization schemes. Vim vs emacs. I program and script because I want to solve problems that no one should have to do manually, especially the fuck not me.

    Programming, scripting, and automation are tools. Some of the most amazing tools humanity has ever created. Tools that open opportunities for increased quality of life, efficiency, and leasure time like nothing else. But they're a tool. Not an ends to themselves. I love them for what they allow us to do.

    I can appreciate the artistry, and I'm happy as hell that there are people out there arguing about how things get compiled or interpreted down to machine code.

    I can automate the fuck out of things. Script together entire system integrations including full user account lifecycle automation when sales folk lies don't match up with reality. I am the best programmer on my sysadmin/infrastructure operations team, and I'm the guy the boss puts on projects that we don't have a failure option for.

    I get to do things I'm good at, and that I generally enjoy, for enough pay that I don't generally have to worry about money. I am immensely blessed and privileged in this regard.

    As far as how much of my current situation is due to education? Really hard to say. If I did it again I think I'd start at the community college.

  • Understandable fear of anger

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  • If you're getting this from a partner, just say that please. I'll take "just want to be quiet for a while", "don't want to talk about it", "I'll get over it, not worth worrying about", etc.

    I can't take "it's nothing" when (at least to my messed up ass) there's clearly something.

  • Understandable fear of anger

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  • Hopefully a joke, but this is exactly part of why it's such a damn hard thing to break out of. It self-perpetuates.

    It's a hard spot I've hit with my wife. I'm from the sort of household this describes, and she's from a household where her feelings were always a second thought due to a physically disabled sibling taking priority.

    So there are times where she is actually mad, and mad at me or for the reasons I think she is, and she isn't willing (or able maybe) to just say "I'm upset, but I'll get over it, I just need a second". To her mind, she isn't "upset" "mad" or "angry" when she's in this state. I've asked her what word she'd use instead and she can't find one.

    But I can tell that something is bothering her, so I don't want to just let it lie. I don't want my wife to be upset, and I have so much fucking experience that it means things will blow up later if just let to lie. Even experience with that happening with her.

    So if I pry, I'm pushing her into being upset on a fast track. But if I don't and try to leave it alone, I feel like it's 50/50 that things will explode later on (rather than the near guarantee when growing up).

    Because even if she is trying to get over it herself, if other things through the day continue to lump more frustration on, she isn't going to say anything until she's almost exploding.

    So it makes it even harder to let go of my baggage because it keeps getting fucking reinforced. "See! You got upset! I was right!"

  • Understandable fear of anger

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  • If you're with someone who is truly using it as an excuse and not trying to improve, sure I guess.

    But it's pretty shitty as a partner if you aren't even willing to try and put in a modicum of effort to work with your partner as well.

    It's not your job to "fix" your partner, but if you don't want to be there with them and walk beside them as they sort out their shit, why are you with them? Long term relationships aren't just the fun and happy stuff.

  • I'm foss plus steam

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  • You've put my feelings about these sort of hyper focused movements into words very well.

    There is so fucking much wrong with the world, and we should be celebrating steps in the right direction rather than playing crab bucket about what's good enough.

    The overwhelming majority of the issues in the world didn't get this bad overnight, and expecting things to just jump straight to the end state is just silly. Especially when there are forces out there devoted to maintaining the status quo.

    That, plus the overall attitude I see so often of "the only possible reason things could be this bad is because everyone else but me is stupid" drives me up a wall. That one I can chalk up to youth at least.

  • Epic Games CEO Tim Sweeney supports the $900 million lawsuit against Valve, arguing Steam is "the only major store still holding onto payment ties and 30% junk fee"

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  • You can look this shit up you know. 3 yachts each retrofitted into marine research vessels and one under construction as another research vessel. Two "support vessels" whatever the fuck that means. The one under construction will house 75 scientists. His marine research company, inkfish, releases all findings publicly and for free.

    But nobody knows this shit because he isn't burning money on a fucking PR firm.

    Two yachts for pleasure, which is entirely two yachts too many.

    Look, he's sitting upon an empire largely propped up by the fucking invention of lootboxes, the marketing of them to children and whales, and all the second and third hand markets and gambling sites that have sprung up around this shit. I'm not going to sit around and suck his dick.

    But inkfish isn't even the only "public good" organization he's founded. And he's also just directly donated money to existing things as well, such as considerable money into pediatric ICU in New Zealand.

    On the scheme of ultra rich, he is one of the better ones.

    Edit: Especially if we're putting Gabe Newell up against Tim "banning Twitter because it allows AI generation of CSAM is gatekeeping" Sweeney

  • Finland's Ministry of Justice is considering halting its plans to start using US-hosted cloud services

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  • Re-read the title. considering halting plans to. They aren't using them yet.

  • Any advice for my winter-weary Orchid?

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  • As others have said, that's way too much water. My wife usually puts one or two ice cubes on top of the soil around once a week and that seems to work well for ours.

    Edit: sounds like this isn't a good idea after all. Apologies.

  • No comment

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  • Almost all of the settings are a simple on off switch. Group policy and the settings menu. Both are easily navigatible GUIs with clear descriptions of what the switches do. You only have to go the hosts file route if you want the extreme of completely disabling updates.

    I work in sysadmin in a Windows environment. I haven't had to touch the registry (for Windows configuration, we won't talk about dumbass software devs) in over four years, and it was only because I didn't check group policy first.

    Please, for the love of all that is worthwhile in this world, don't lecture others on the ease or difficulty of configuring systems if you aren't actually familiar with how to configure those systems.

  • Day 564 of posting a Daily Screenshot from the games I've been playing

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  • At the risk of sending you down a rabbit hole, there are some people who use Reshade on non-online games to do "game photography". You could go as light as overlaying a grid, or more complicated stuff like simulating lens focal length, removing fog, adjusting colors, adding bloom, bokeh, etc.

    It's meant for overlaying complex graphical effects while you play, but there's a small dedicated community of people using it to set up the perfect still shots. It's definitely a deep rabbit hole.

  • I'm foss plus steam

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  • The point is that it's still less animals than if someone was eating a full non-vegan diet. You seriously can't be this dense.

  • No comment

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  • You can delay Windows updates up to 30 days at a time, and do that indefinitely. Or just black hole the update server in your hosts file to disable updates entirely.

    There are also ways to not download updates until a certain amount of time after their release, and then to give yourself something like two weeks before it auto installs during a period when the computer is not in active use.

    I haven't had an update happen unexpectedly since Vista.

    And lets be real, do we really want to just let the average chucklefuck run around with insecure shit? There's an element of protecting people from themselves going on here as well.

  • No comment

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  • Welcome to Lemmy, where people aren't willing to even try to get Windows to work for them, but are absolutely convinced they know exactly how it works.

    I've had conversations here where I've led with the fact that I've got a decade of experience in IT and sysadmin in a Windows environment, had someone insist I was wrong about some configurable functionality, and they ended up admitting they hadn't touched Windows in a decade.

    People running wild with complete ass pull speculation about how stuff like OneDrive functions instead of taking 30 seconds to do a search on their engine of choice.

    I had someone insist that the handwriting and typing analysis feature was a full on keylogger capturing all input including passwords across every program on the whole damn OS, then tell me I wasn't researching right because 100 articles with the same copy pasted clickbait headline and instructions for how to turn off the feature but no actual source for the keylogging claim does not make fucking truth. The other commentor kept hiding behind a piss poor excuse of not being willing to spoonfeed me, while spending considerably more effort telling me I was stupid.

    I offered to edit every one of my ~4000 comments to sing their praises if they just stopped grandstanding and linked me the goddamn proof. Guess who hasn't stepped up?

    I've said across multiple comments at this point that when I get enough free time to putz around with getting 11 set up in a VM in prep to upgrade my desktop that I'm going to make a guide on how to configure all this shit.

    I hate that learned helplessness with Windows is being fucking championed as a failing of Windows and reason to switch to Linux, when these same users end up having issues with Linux and being hung out to dry there as well.

  • No comment

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  • And are you actually using the HDR features? Most can be run fine in SDR mode.

  • Removed

    Invade Venezuela but protect pedophiles at all costs?

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  • As others have said, I guarantee there are movements and organzing happening in your area.

    Don't be the person shouting that others aren't doing enough when you aren't doing more than complain online.

    Use this energy. It's kind of hilarious that you're complaining about how people are fighting amongst themselves while you're doing it too.

    Some people have to focus on survival, and don't have the energy to do more. That's by design. Intentional design by those in power. So if you have that energy, go do for them. Work with unions and local lawmakers to improve conditions for the people living paycheck to paycheck instead of trying to shame them into just magically having more energy after ensuring they'll be able to eat and have a place to stay.

  • How much trash is there on the surface nearest to you right now?

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  • Lots of clutter, no trash. Maybe some of the papers in the coffee table that my toddler has scribbled on are trash, but I'm saving those for re-use until they get crumpled or I see her choose not to use them when she'a drawing.

  • French hot chocolate (peep the RuneScape mug) and Croissant

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  • If you play Old School RuneScape, what do you think about the sailing skill? I haven't played since shortly before that released.

  • They finally brought it back

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  • Oh man, my original Game Boy Color was "Atomic Purple", the clear purple shell. Somewhere over the years I lost or sold it. I got another GBC later just plain yellow.

    Last weekend I reshelled it in a third party atomic purple shell. My nostalgia is happy :) I see it and go "that's my gameboy!"

    Now to save up for an Everdrive and toss my old games on it. Eventually I want to do the works, LCD screen with frame blending and "pixel grid" so it looks legit (or maybe just a front or backlight on the OG screen, as the screen's look is a big part of the nostalgia for me), improved sound out, and usb-c charging. But for now, a basic shell swap is good enough for me.

    I've also got clear blue shells for my joycons when I replace the joysticks with hall effect ones. Have all the parts, just need to find the time. Joycon work looks like a pain in the ass from the guides and videos I've checked.