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vvilld

@ vvilld @lemmy.world

Posts
1
Comments
157
Joined
12 mo. ago

  • Removed

    any healthy, attractive, non-autistic, normal males here? i have questions

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  • I mentioned "non-creepy, non-prying" because I've been on the internet a lot and understand internet culture. Several things mentioned in your post give a distinct vibe of the type of person whose brain has been so overcooked by the internet that they have a tendency towards being creepy. I'm specifically talking about stuff like:

    feel like liking someone is a need like taking a shit. if i give too much affection, would a girl get scared and run away, or fall in love with me? what do i do if i accidentally make a girl love me?

    i don’t want girls to love me too much. how do i make them not love me too much and still be myself?

    what do i do with the freedom and power to do whatever i want?

    I am not autistic, mentally ill, ugly, or weird (I guess those last two are subjective). I have no diagnoses at all and have never been regularly medicated. I am happily married (June will be my 10 year anniversary), with 2 kids. I also had previous relationships before meeting my (now) wife, so clearly I'm not so hideously unattractive or weird as to repel everyone.

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    any healthy, attractive, non-autistic, normal males here? i have questions

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  • I don't understand the relevance of this question?

  • Who of you want or don't want children? I am just curious because most people that I talk to don't seem to want it. I mean leftist

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  • Just throwing this out there, the fascists and reactionaries have 0 qualms with having a bunch of kids. Do you want the generation of people who will be running the world when we're old to be entirely raised by fascists and reactionaries? Where will future leftists come from if not from present leftists?

  • Who of you want or don't want children? I am just curious because most people that I talk to don't seem to want it. I mean leftist

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  • This completely contradicts your earlier point:

    People that don’t want children usually think of the potential wellbeing of a future human. People that do want children, usually do so for selfish reasons.

    Are you choosing to not have kids (which is a perfectly fine and morally defensible decision to make) because you're thinking of the potential wellbeing of a future human, or for the selfish reason that it would make your socioeconomic situation more difficult?

    Again, simply saying "I just don't want to have kids" is perfectly fine. But you tried to moralize it by saying people who do have kids are selfish and those who don't are altruistic. Yet the reason you gave for not having kids was selfish.

  • Who of you want or don't want children? I am just curious because most people that I talk to don't seem to want it. I mean leftist

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  • I am very much a leftist (anarchist, to be specific). I have 2 kids and I absolutely LOVE being a dad. It's the single most fulfilling and enjoyable thing I've done in my entire life.

    If you don't want kids, that's perfectly fine. Kids need a loving an nurturing home, and if someone is unwilling to provide that, they shouldn't have kids just to have them. But I also don't think there's anything wrong with having kids if you want them.

    From an ideologically leftist perspective (which absolutely should NOT be the determining factor in having kids), remember how much focus the fascists put on family and kids. They are having plenty of kids who will be raised with their fascist ideology. Do you really want the generation who will be running the world when we're old to be entirely raised by fascists?

    I didn't have kids because of my politics, but I'm happy to know that at least 2 future adults will be raised by me with my values.

    most don’t seem to want to have children either for the uncertainty of the future or because they are too expensive or because it wouldn’t give them too much time to organize or whatever

    I'd just say that every single one of these factors has been in play for virtually all of history and yet people still had kids and were able to do great things. John Brown had like 20 kids, but that didn't stop him from fighting slavery. Nestor Makhno had a daughter. Our world is nowhere near as dire as the one Makhno lived in, and he built an entire anarchist society. What do you think the birth rate in places like Rojava is?

    These aren't very good reasons to not have kids, they're just justifications people pull out when they feel like saying "I just don't want kids" isn't good enough. It is. if you don't want kids, that's fine. Don't try to make up some reason why others who do shouldn't.

  • Your favourite season?

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  • Summer.

    I grew up in a desert and LOVE the heat. Doesn't matter if it's humid or dry, so long as it's hot I'm happy. And I HATE the cold. If I have to wear long pants and/or long sleeves to stay warm, it's too cold out.

  • Does your enjoyment affects your mood or your mood affects your enjoyment?

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  • I think the answer is yes to both.

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    any healthy, attractive, non-autistic, normal males here? i have questions

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  • So what? Making mistakes is a huge part of life. Everyone makes mistakes all the time. We deal with them and move on. That's just called being human.

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    any healthy, attractive, non-autistic, normal males here? i have questions

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  • You are overthinking things to an ENORMOUS degree.

    What you need most of all is to get off the internet and go engage with people in the real world. These are all questions people grapple with as they enter adulthood, but most of us do it subconsciously.

    What you're really struggling with here is knowing yourself. You can't figure that out without life experiences. You need go try things to find out what you want out of life and who you want to be.

    I don't know you or your life, so it's difficult to give specific advice. I think what would be best for you is to go out somewhere with people and just engage with them in a non-creepy, non-prying, normal way. Become a regular at a local dive bar. Find a local low-stakes sport league (like kickball or pickleball or some shit). Find a gaming/hobby store that has live gaming nights and start attending. Find a recurring class you can take.

    The specifics don't matter so much. The goal is to find something/place you can go to which is likely to have some of the same people at over and over. At first, you're not trying to meet everyone and form friendships. That'll come in time. At first you're just trying to get comfortable and confident in the space. Present yourself as open and easy to approach. Be willing to make small talk with people when appropriate. Over time you'll start having those small talk conversations with the same people. Then you can start building on that. "Hey, I've seen you here before. We had that small chat about XYZ. It's nice seeing a familiar face. My name is ABC..."

    Then be willing to say "Yes" to things. If someone invites you to something, say yes. If they ask if you want to try something, say yes. Obviously within reason, but don't shut yourself off for nothing.

    The biggest thing is, don't try to have an agenda. Don't go out to meet people with the intention of trying to get laid or find a romantic partner. Don't focus all your attention on trying to meet potential romantic/sexual partners. People pick up on that shit really easily and it makes you come off as a creep. I'm not saying don't form those relationships if the opportunity presents itself, I'm just saying don't make that your focus or purpose.

    Humans are social animals. Our biggest evolutionary advantage that led to us being the dominant lifeform on the planet is our ability to connect with one another and form communities. We are hardwired to crave that and thrive on it. All this may sound daunting, and I'm sure your gut reaction will be to reject it as impossible for you personally for this reason or that. You'll say you can't do any of this because of health reasons, or because you're not attractive, or because you're autistic or neurodivergent, etc. Those are all just excuses. More people than you can count who are uglier, less healthy, and more neurodivergent than you are perfectly capable. Socializing is a skill just like any other. When you first start doing it, you're going to be bad at it. But the more you practice and try, the better you'll get.

  • Why can’t HVAC be made smarter?

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  • That absolutely 100% exists. In commercial buildings, this is the standard. Nobody has to go to the BMS (Building Management System) and tell it to switch to cooling or heating. It's all automatic. Even higher end residential thermostats do it. A couple of years ago I had my gas furnace replaced with a heat pump/electric heat system and it automatically switches between heat and cool as I've programmed it.

    Hell, you can get systems that are sophisticated enough that every individual room in your house has an independent thermostat that automatically maintains a different temperature in each room. Of course, that'll require a separate VAV for each room, which isn't common in residential buildings.

    The primary reason you don't see "smarter" systems in homes more often is because they're more expensive. Most people leave the fan on their HVAC system on auto and just switch between hot and cold manually as needed. And for most people, that's only a few times per year. Most people switch it to cool sometime in the Spring, then leave it there until the Fall when they switch back to heat.

    A more complicated system is just paying more money for something you don't really need.

  • Why are Maries Sues hated while Gary Stus are loved?

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  • Misogyny. It's really not more complicated than that. Even if people don't recognize or acknowledge it, our culture has trained us to be much more critical of capable women than men.

  • How likely is the US government going to identify and arrest every online user who have disagreed with the current administration?

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  • Every single person who disagrees with the administration on the internet? Incredibly unlikely. That'd be literally 10s of millions of people, if not over 100 million. The US prison system currently has a capacity of ~2 million. It's estimated that globally there are ~11.5 million people in prisons. So you're talking about locking up several times more people than are currently locked up. It's just not possible.

    The scale of what you're suggesting is just unimaginable. How much manpower would be needed to lock up tens of millions of people? Nearly the entire non-incarcerated population of the US would need to be employed in building and staffing prisons and doing the police work to track down and arrest people.

    And what would that do to the US (and global) economy to remove tens of millions of people from the workforce and force the rest of the population into servicing those prisons?

    Even in the strictest countries with the most draconian censorship, they don't lock up people who are just disagreeing with the dictator/administration. They lock up people who make a name for themselves and get recognition/go viral. If you have an account that gets a HUGE following and you don't just disagree, but attack and criticize, then you might end up with some problems.

    To avoid this, just don't let yourself get a big following with an account that's super critical. If you notice you start to get a following, just delete that account and start a new one.

  • Where is the outrage? Where have all the "humans" gone? Israel slaughtered over 400 innocent civilians in Gaza last night. Most of them women and children.

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  • You're the one who kept repeating "I literally could not vote for genocide joe." The comment I replied to was just that in all caps, which you have since edited to completely change. You are the one who keeps bringing up Biden. You say nobody gave you an option? Harris was right there on the ballot, not the guy you said you literally could not vote for.

    I also don't understand why you choose to repeatedly misconstrue my political leanings, referring to "who you ran" or "your team". I didn't run Harris. The Democrats aren't my team. They were just the lead bad of two options.

    And why is voting for the least bad of two terrible choices "some bare minimum moral line"? Your vote isn't some precious flower you can only give away to your one true love or some bullshit. It's a fucking vote. All it means is "I think this person is the least bad option available." You don't have to structure your entire ideological belief structure around who you vote for. You vote for whichever candidate you think you can work to push in the right direction, then get back to life.

    For me, personally, voting is an EXTREMELY minor part of my engagement with politics. I also participate in protests regularly. Ever since my early 20s (late 30s now) I’ve made a point of attending at least 1 protest every month. For the past 8 years, it’s been closer to weekly than monthly. I donate a lot of money to different groups, mostly a local abortion fund and bail fund for activists, but I change it up when the need is there. I make food for a local Food not Bombs and help serve when I can (although that’s infrequently due to my work schedule and the fact I have kids).

    This is not an exhaustive list of my political activities, but it helps paint the picture.

    Tell me, if your vote is so direly precious that you’re unwilling to give it away to the lesser of two evils in a binary choice where “none” is not an option, how do you engage with politics? What do you do to help improve the lives of the people in your community? Or is pretending like you have moral superiority over others by not participating in politics the extent of it?

  • ‘What the f*** happened?!’: Jon Stewart unloads on Democrats

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  • That is an incredibly dumb argument. Every single Republican in office has also signed onto bills aligned with Democratic policies. That's just how a multi-party legislature works.

  • Where is the outrage? Where have all the "humans" gone? Israel slaughtered over 400 innocent civilians in Gaza last night. Most of them women and children.

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  • I don't see voting for one of the two in a binary as an endorsement of everything that candidate stands for. You're acting as if not voting sends a message. It doesn't it's literally the opposite of sending a message. It's refusing to have a voice at all. You're not condemning the system by not voting. You're saying you're perfectly OK with either of the two outcomes. I'm saying I'm not OK with one of them.

    You're also speaking as if voting is the only possible way to engage in politics. It happens twice a year (in years with both primary and general elections). What are you doing the other 363 days? Are you just sitting by and letting whatever happens happen?

    For me, personally, voting is an EXTREMELY minor part of my engagement with politics. I also participate in protests regularly. Ever since my early 20s (late 30s now) I've made a point of attending at least 1 protest every month. For the past 8 years, it's been closer to weekly than monthly. I donate a lot of money to different groups, mostly a local abortion fund and bail fund for activists, but I change it up when the need is there. I make food for a local Food not Bombs and help serve when I can (although that's infrequently due to my work schedule and the fact I have kids).

    This is not an exhaustive list of my political activities, but it helps paint the picture.

    Tell me, if your vote is so direly precious that you're unwilling to give it away to the lesser of two evils in a binary choice where "none" is not an option, how do you engage with politics? What do you do to help improve the lives of the people in your community? Or are you just trying to shitpost a revolution into happening?

  • Where is the outrage? Where have all the "humans" gone? Israel slaughtered over 400 innocent civilians in Gaza last night. Most of them women and children.

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  • inaction, which NOT VOTING ISN’T.

    If not voting isn't inaction, then what is it? You certainly didn't take action, so the opposite would be...

  • Where is the outrage? Where have all the "humans" gone? Israel slaughtered over 400 innocent civilians in Gaza last night. Most of them women and children.

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  • I'm not trolling....

  • Where is the outrage? Where have all the "humans" gone? Israel slaughtered over 400 innocent civilians in Gaza last night. Most of them women and children.

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  • Literally nobody here said anything close to "the genocide is only bad when its the Republicans doing it." You are arguing against a strawman of your own invention.

  • Where is the outrage? Where have all the "humans" gone? Israel slaughtered over 400 innocent civilians in Gaza last night. Most of them women and children.

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  • And yet you still have to live with the fascists who won the election. You don't get a gold star for moral superiority. There are no good guys in American elections. There never have been. You vote for the lesser of the two evils presented to you, then go back to engaging in politics in ways other than electorally.