I don’t enjoy online texting and find it worthless and a waste of time to me, and as such in person interaction is what I cherish the most;
Yeah, I didn't miss that bit.
so that’s why I am so hung up on the time ratio question
This is still a non-sequitur for me. How's this for a ruleset:
If some night you don't have energy to go and don't want to go, then don't go;
if you do have energy and you don't want to, don't go;
if you don't have energy and want to, figure it out at the time 🤷
If you have energy and want to go, go.
What about alternatives like crashing at his place every once in a while?
Just remember, this isn't a negotiation - I'm not the one getting you there and back. I'm just trying to give you another way of looking at it in case that makes it easier to figure out.
Aside from this being an entirely personal question that nobody else can answer for you, I think it's getting to see your friend that justifies the drive, not the amount of time you spend with them. I had a commute like this to see one of my buddies for a while; sometimes we'd spend as little as an hour, sometimes 8. The 4-hour round trip each time isn't what I remember.
I've done it. Circumstances sometimes demand, what are you gonna do? 🤷 But also, I always clean up after myself - wipe down around the sink if I splashed, and rinse the toothpaste out of the sink itself. That's just courtesy, professional and general.
So then all books are now mystery boxes, and so are movies, tv shows, music, etc? Unless you've memorized every word? That's not ridiculous at all lol.
I think you might have missed this from my reply:
That said, I'll concede the point that they're not really equivalent despite the fact that they're both games played with printed pieces of paper, because that mystery aspect to a pack of Magic cards makes them different
Now I'd like to respond to this:
But yes it does kind of seem like you're putting down those who collect "useless" things and your distinction of collecting to display vs collecting to play a game is tenuous at best.
Listen pal, I already told you that wasn't my intention, and clarified again that the existence of the game is the thing I hold as the differentiator between Magic and quite literally everything else on that list, and that I'm not saying that makes it better, just the odd one out. You can do me the courtesy of believing me, or you can fuck off. You don't get to dictate my intentions or meaning.
Apparently a lot of people are reading my comment as defensive which wasn't intended at all, so don't worry, I wasn't taking it badly 😊 Like I said, I strongly agree with you generally!
Who said anything about being "better" than anyone else? Jesus Christ, is that what people took from "this one is not like the others"? I see the mystery box nature of the packs, of course, but the existence of the game around Magic means there's a literal difference between that and all the other examples, for fuck's sake.
To the point about D&D rulebooks, do you not know you're buying a pack of Magic cards? No, you just don't know what's in the pack. If you already knew exactly what was in the D&D rulebook, why would you need to buy the book? That said, I'll concede the point that they're not really equivalent despite the fact that they're both games played with printed pieces of paper, because that mystery aspect to a pack of Magic cards makes them different. Just like the presence of a game makes Magic different than the other examples.
It doesn't make people who collect Magic cards any better. It just means their collection has a practical use in addition to display.
Edit: Fuck the downvotes, I maintain there's a significant difference between coloured plastic/paper with no game attached, and a game you need materials for. Or are we lumping D&D rulebooks and wargaming miniatures in here with Labubus too?
While most of your post is spot-on, I don't think Magic: The Gathering belongs here. Magic is a (fun, to us) game that I've played with my friends for decades. The cards also have nice art on them most of the time. People can and do totally spend as much on Magic as the other fandoms listed, but what game are Labubus for, or baseball cards? Thus, I feel M:TG is the odd one out in this list.
Some people are just arseholes, and they make themselves miserable without even realising it. The best revenge is a life well-lived. Enjoy the things you enjoy, minimise the things you don't, and forget they exist - your people are out there 😊
Really? School is where we learn how to treat other people, and we learn it by example as much as being told (more than, I'd contend).
Claiming this will immediately lead to bullying or just the threat that it might do is to an extent quixotic to me
First off, quote where I claimed it would immediately lead to bullying (good luck). Secondly, yes, whether believe it or not a teacher engaging in this behaviour signals to the other children that it's okay, there's an extremely elevated chance that they will take that and run with it.
If a teacher telling a kid to get their feet off the table, to stop shooting spit wads at the row in front of them, to stop rocking back their chair because they might tip over and fall - if all these situations are okay for a teacher to say out loud in front of the class: “Kevin, stop it!” - and I think they are - then telling the kid not to chew on communally shared erasers is no different.
Telling, yes. They've already told them to stop it. Your suggestion, however, was
I would go for gentle peer pressure. Point it out in class, do a friendly dressing down how none of the other students want to use the chewed on eraser. If he won’t stop if you say so, maybe you can get other kids to do the trick. The unwanted public attention from his peers might be enough.
"peer pressure", "dressing-down", "maybe you can get other kids to do the trick". That last one in particular. How exactly do you think the other kids would do the trick? Harass the child into stopping, yeah? Or are you gonna come out now claiming that kids are masters of nuance and they'll be able to get him to stop without resorting to bullying? Your initial suggestion was bad, but at this point you are being absolutely ridiculous. OP "weighed in against the suggestion" with the words
Kids at that age are ruthless, I absolutely can’t do that
And yet you still want to act like I'm in the wrong for saying that it would open the child up to bullying. An absolutely mind-blowingly dumb argument. I sure hope you're not responsible for children with this kind of thinking; I had a few teachers like you and I hated them for it.
I'd be curious for a follow-up post if you find a way to help him with this! I was this kid when I was little, and needed help and kindness, but there was no understanding for autistic behaviours back then so what I got instead was bullied. I appreciate that you went looking for help instead of just throwing up your hands 🤗
I read your checklist, and I think you missed the bit where I said "when it sounds like all other options have been exhausted". There's absolutely no need for the "peer pressure" component, it's unnecessary to call out a kid on front of a class like that when you could just as easily have a private conversation with the kid about it, and I suggest you think about what it means to enable bullying without actively participating in it.
I don't think they will go full Lord of the Flies on him
You have no way of accurately predicting this, because it's children we're talking about, and they are famously agents of chaos.
I can't think of a single office I've worked where it would be considered professional to call someone out for minorly problematic behaviour in front of all their colleagues, and I don't see any reason it would be considered acceptable with children either.