you'll find me at sopuli.xyz under the same username
But if you feel comfortable, why is it problematic?
My mom and sister used to say my husband looks like he just got released from Auschwitz so I feel you 🫠
Maybe it's because your dad wants you to get a perfect person. Someone who is nice and loving and interesting and attractive and successful and rich and a good cook and volunteers and whatnot. My guess is not that they would prefer you to have someone handsome and unloving instead, but someone who is both handsome and loving. Because to them, you're perfect. So they want you to have the (what they assume would be) perfect match. Most of this is probably not an active thought process but just some subconscious thinking.
I once collapsed and lost consciousness in the streets in Russia. Someone must have called an ambulance. I woke up in a hospital with a woman yelling at me for my insurance number. (I am a Russian citizen but I have never lived there, I tried explaining I had a traveller's insurance, but she didn't understand what I meant.) Anyway, after I got treated they released me basically as Jane Doe, I never got billed anything.
Over the course of the years I had to go to a hospital in Russia two more times. Each time they would rather not bother with figuring out how international insurance works (basically, I would pay a bill and then send it in to the insurance company and they would reimburse me - I explained that over and over) and just let me go free of charge.
The treatment was good and professional and stereotypically unkind. I'm still amazed by how they'd rather not bill you because they aren't sure what you're talking about than try to get the money and let you figure out how to pay it. Too much of a hassle I guess.
I got a kid but not a car. Just walking to the kindergarten and back twice a day is movement. We spend a lot of time outdoors at playgrounds or parks and I have to do all the grocery shopping by bike or walking. I don't do other physical exercise admittedly, but this kid is a fitness machine. We be running, playing, I need to lift her, carry her, carry her stuff, clean up, wrestle - for real having a kid made me the most physically fit and active I've ever been.
When I was younger I liked to dance. Trying to lose weight I'd just put headphones on in my room and dance for hours. A friend of mine actually lost a crapton of weight this way, think obese to normal weight.
Also, making a kid (and training for it and reenacting it) is great exercise.
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Coffee is highly personal, I agree. The comment above reminded me of a friend though, a very woke social worker, highly anti exploitation and pro environment. You get the point. She did hand filter, but like... Putting 5 spoons in and then just splashing boiling water over it so that the water hardly even touched the coffee because it just whooshed to the sides. Her coffee was... Brownish water. It was so light, if it were driving in the US, it wouldn't have been racially profiled. She liked it that way and while it was not drinkable for me, it's fine, she likes it, but it was just such a waste. It took a lot of careful phrasing to point it out to her that, you do you, but you are wasting coffee (which is, after all, ethically, socially and environmentally quite complicated to say the least) and you could get the same strength/result with like 1/5th of the coffee you use. She is still rather grateful for your coffee needs... more love and has now diverted to more conscious coffee making.
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I also bring this up in people who get overly defensive about their (excessive) meat consumption. I hear the argument that we evolved to eat meat and they want to eat a "natural" diet and this involves eating chicken breast and steak every day.
I mean don't get me wrong, I also eat meat sometimes, but I do realize that there is no good reason to do so. Indeed it is hypocritical of me, knowing how it is both bad for the environment and morally wrong to kill an animal for my consumption when I can get all the nutrients in it from elsewhere, be it "natural" via food choices or "synthetic" via supplements. Because sure as fuck it's also not natural to have cooked pasta with brussel sprouts, tomato sauce, a grotesquely large chicken breast, with a dessert of blueberries and yoghurt in the wintertime. Like, just own it. Just admit there is no good reason other than I like it and that the choice is very self serving.
And yes, bring on the GMOs.
I got a follow up question to the biblical academic consensus - where do you get that from? I mean literally, since I always wanted to kind of read the bible with these kinds of interpretations, but I absolutely don't know where to go for a source like this. Any tips?
I was like your daughter. Between like 5 and 15, I've tried so many different things. And while I sometimes had troubles admitting that I lost interest in something - especially when I knew the thing was expensive, like keyboard lessons - I am hella glad I got to try out so many things with no strings attached. It's not even about committing to something or getting burned out. It's just, man, life is short and now I am 33 and I just wouldn't have the time or energy or motivation or money to try out everything I did as a kid. Karate and ballroom dancing and hiphop dancing and tennis and drawing and violin and ice skating and crafting - some things stayed for just a tryout, some for half a year or a year, some interests stayed for years. I'm so happy that I don't have any hobby FOMO nowadays. I'm super grateful that my parents let me try out all of these things. (Also all the sports despite me sucking at sports like crazy. Except for all the dancing, that I rocked.)
And then the people all clapped and patted themselves on the back for saving the guy and went about their day. But the guy went back to the same life full of problems that led him to despair. Crippling debt or depression. Estrangement from loved ones that are no longer willing to reconnect. Loneliness or defamation or disease. It's easy to save someone from jumping, but this is not help. That is not the help they need. They need constant and long term help, assistance, and support.
Saving a stranger from a suicide attempt has a vibe to it like preventing an abortion from happening without providing any further support for the mother or the child. Congrats, you saved a life, technically. But you did nothing to save the life.
That's a good point, but in my opinion the other common deaths are way worse. Cancer? Living with the anxiety of impending death and constantly getting sicker, more in pain and being nauseous from medication? Or COPD, feeling like you are suffocating slowly? Alzheimers, Parkinsons? Or my personal fear - dying from a stupid simple cold? Man, I take a heart attack any day of the week.
WHAT DOES THE BLACK MOONFACE MEAN
I ask my spouse all the time and he just replies with another black moonface
I still can't believe that we went from 16 years of stillstand under CDU to finally some progress under SPD-Grüne-FDP, just for it to be sabotaged by Merz with his stupid lawsuit, which then got FDP into their anal power play and somehow Lindner managed to make his solely Lindner focussed politics even more solely Lindner focussed, and then collectively decided yeah, that government didn't solve world hunger, injustice, climate change and international wars within 3 years, fuck them, let's go back to CDU.
And now Spahn, that fuckface, is Fraktionsvorsitzender. This means de facto he will be chancellor down the road. That AfD ballsucking fucktard. Watching the world burn for personal political gain. (Also looking at you, Amthor.)
I never played princess. I always wanted to play queen. Married, mature and with power, sounded like a much better deal.
Gravity affects the booty too. Well thought through graphic
I will proceed to check out the national anthem of Djibouti and the state anthem of Mississippi. I might be back with some questions.
People have already pointed out the legal and financial aspects. But I also want to address the philosophical aspect of your question, which I think you had in mind. And I think the answer I would give you is this one:
Marriage has the meaning that you assign to it.
I strongly believe that if we got rid of any legal and financial benefits of marriage, even if we made it explicitly illegal, there would still be a bunch (or even a lot) of people who would get married.
I would compare it to a house fire. If my house was burning (and there were no living beings in it) and I could save 5 things, what would I save? What would you save? I would take, for example, my favorite soft toy from when I was a kid, and my old box filled with diaries. Is this worth any money? No. Does it have any value? To me, it does. To you, it doesn't. Maybe you are a very rational person that isn't attached to anything (or to nothing material) and you would indeed make the smartest choices, saving your passport and documents and money. Maybe you would save a small gift that someone important has given you. Maybe you would save the first guitar you ever bought. You save whatever has value and meaning to you. And these things have solely the meaning and value that you have attached to it.
Likewise, people have different value and meaning attached to marriage. If you look at it from a rational, logical side - it has its legal and financial perks and benefits and if they weren't there, getting married would make no sense. But things don't have to make sense. The meaning we assign to rituals, things, concepts, aren't necessarily rational. They are, however, deeply personal.
So, as a side note, please beware of ridiculing people for their views on marriage or weddings, just like you wouldn't want to ridicule or belittle someone for other things that mean a lot to them. Always sharing the last piece of bread. Always giving a coin to a homeless person. Having a breakfast for 30 minutes every morning. A good night kiss on the nose from their partner. Drawing a dick in the first snow of the winter. Some things mean a lot to people even if they do not rationally make sense.
In the case of marriage, of course, some of the meaning comes from culture, history, and tradition. Marriage might have had different purposes than it has now, and surely the origins weren't that romantic. (Not saying, however, that marriage has to be romantic.) But it is there. It is important to some people simply because they have, at some point in their life, decided it is important for some reasons, rational or irrational, social, cultural, and hopefully personal too. To them, it makes sense, it has meaning, it has value. And whatever marriage or a wedding ceremony mean - you decide.
So the question you should be asking is not whether or not you should get married, it is what marriage means to you. Does it have any benefit or value in your eyes? Are the legal benefits enough for you to get married? What is your stance on divorce? Do you feel like you would get "closer together" with your partner? Would you feel it would make things harder to separate? There are a ton on questions like these that you can ask yourself, I hope you get the jist. There are not right or wrong answers. The only thing that is important is that the meaning you assign to marriage is (about) the same as the meaning your partner assigns to marriage. You can both not care about a spiritual meaning, but just get married for the benefits. You can both be a type of "whatever happens, we don't get divorced, til death do us part". You can be "we'll keep reevaluating whether we still belong together". You can also be "we get married because we have children and this is practical". Or "we get married because I am hot and you are rich and when one of us loses their asset we split". Or "we just want a fancy huge ass party to show our love in this very moment and celebrate it with our friends and whatever comes afterwards is secondary". It doesn't matter what your view is, it matters that you guys agree.
Man, I wish you'd offer bible courses
I actually do because we tried to swear less when we had a baby
Now it's hard to stop even if I am not around my baby or swear word hating spouse
Tbh I struggle to come up with an actual good and not just mediocre movie that Tom Hanks was in.
Adding to the trash list: Incredibly loud and extremely close. They massacred the book.
If you google the kid she definitely doesn't have albinism. Which makes it even weirder that she was sold for body parts.