Mr. Softie looks like a proper gentleman who lived his best life. We spoil them because they deserve it. And it sounds like that's exactly what you did for him, no one could ask for more.
I have 11 fucking kids. Or maintenance techs, as they like to be called. Sometimes they get a little twitchy when I call them kids.
"Here ya go, simpletons. Here's a fraction of your own money back. I'm the greatest person to have ever drawn breath, praise me for my stable genius."
He has chosen violence