I’m actually okay not seeing Trump’s prostate, thanks.

Important question, which end of the boomer reenactment do I get to be on?

She’s not going to be able to have three martini lunches.

Wanna bet?

That’s going to be way worse. I can get down with no timezones, but if we replace time zones with date zones you’ll end up with two locations where the same instant of time is either March 2nd at 3am or March 1st at 3am. There really just isn’t an easy way to handle time that works for all weird geographies and also makes it easy to schedule things across an ocean. But also, fuck daylight savings, that’s a totally unnecessary way of making it all worse than it needs to be.

I once worked at a place that had a test environment that used the prod databases. After I left, I heard about an intern who left a where clause off of a SQL query and rewrote an entire production table from the test environment.

Yeah, who needs robust fail-safes when you’ve got a warehouse full of guillotines ready to go.

So sorry, looks like the correct answer for this morning was “pardon Pete Rose and try to strongarm the MLB Hall of Fame into inducting him”. I’m sure that will change by lunch though.

First time I encountered one was in the Helsinki airport at like 5am. I definitely stared at it for a solid 30 seconds trying to figure out what to do with it. And I may have just wiped my hands on my pants and walked away in the end.

Hopefully she also gives us courage to do the same.

This is (some of) the language of the current amendment, the difference being the replacing of “once” with “twice” as the last word. The idea is that if you’re VP and are elevated to be President, it counts as one of your two possible terms if you serve more than half of the term you took over during. Basically, this kiss ass waste of space just copy/pasted the existing amendment and incremented every number in it.

Yeah, this is what they worked out behind closed doors so they can keep getting elected in their states.

It’s not more people using the product, it’s the limited population who are paying $200/month use it way more than they thought they would. So the costs per person paying that are going way over $200/month. Basically, they made the mistake of setting a fuck off price that was too low and a bunch of people did the math and took them up on the offer.

Like self-immolation, but burn the person who’s actually responsible for the problem.

In fact, dodging while publicly saying that he knows he’s being sued is likely to actually fuck him harder once he is in court. And publicly saying that he’ll just go bankrupt and avoid paying them anything will also probably fuck him harder. He needs to get a lawyer and just shut the fuck up.

I knew I liked that guy

They’d be too busy locking up every person who ever set foot in a hospital to get around to lil ole Alex Jones.

Yeah, that’s just a win-win at this point

Hot temperatures are bad, humidity is bad, but it turns out hot temperatures at lower humidity is seemingly even worse. And we’re all fucked because climate change models show us likely hitting the temps this guy was exposed to if we don’t fix some shit fast.

It’s probably guns. That guy who shot all those people at the music festival in Vegas snuck a small arsenal into his room and they didn’t notice until the shooting.

I have clear memories of the pastor at my parents’ church talking about how the gay agenda’s next steps were legalizing bestiality and pedophilia. Probably would’ve been somewhere around 2014-2015. Looking back, it was absolutely the beginning of the end of me having anything to do with religion, so maybe it’s actually the best sermon I ever sat through.