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Nangijala

@ Nangijala @feddit.dk

Posts
33
Comments
1356
Joined
12 mo. ago

  • Our duty

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  • Right. It changes your perspective and priorities. It gives you the gift of community and culture in ways that someone like me won't get unless I actively remember to seek it out.

    I'm not a parent so there are many things I don't have first hand experience with, but children have been a part of every stage of my life since I was little. I became an aunt before the age of 10, lol. I have seen the cycle of parenthood over and over and over again and now I'm going through it again with my peers who almost all have kids and their lives change in so many amazing and exhausting ways but they all recieve community and culture and the family is knitted closer. It is something I don't know how to explain to terminally online childless people who have a very simplistic idea of what parenthood and childless lifestyles are like. I have lived that shit my whole life so I know what is coming for me and what is coming for the parents in my life and I know the ups and downs of both and I find both beautiful in their own ways. I don't think the childless people who pull up statistics and and talk about parenthood like they know anything about it because they have read a few articles and studies that affirms their biases, I don't think they realize what is actually coming for them.

    It's not that they will necessarily regret not having kids. But if they don't attempt to get involved in community and culture in any way, they will be left behind at some point. Then they can brag about hobbies and vacations and sex and sleep, but it's gonna fucking hit them like a ton of bricks one day when they realize that society moved on without them and that they no longer know how to speak the language of their peers because they will miss ALL the references and the cultural and community context that was built when they were busy jetskiing in Hawaii.

    It is going to be lonely and maybe you like being by yourself like I do a lot of the time, but you still have to get up and participate and show interest and investment in other people's children if you want to not end up completely isolated from society one day. That is my strategy and it really fixes that puzzle I could never figure out early on in my life when I realized I love kids, I just don't want to be a mom. Now I'm an aunt, a playmate and someone whom parents can rely on if they need me. Win/win.

  • Our duty

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  • Oh dude, I know Dx back when I was still using reddit I had a few run ins with the childfree subreddits and I didn't like the tone on the main one and asked around if there was a sub somewhere, where you could just talk with normal childfree people about the lifestyle. I was recommended the true childfree subreddit and was permabanned for my first and only post where I wanted to start a discussion about the doubts and the difficult choices related to choosing the childfree lifestyle. I was permabanned for trolling, which pissed me off enough to just give up on trying to find people like me online to talk to about it.

    I actually really like kids and kids really like me, lol. They always think I'm "one of them" when I play with them at family gatherings and such. They seem to always forget that I'm adult who's older than their parents a lot of the time. It's just to say that I don't hate kids. I tend to not like people who hate kids. I feel like it's a good way of telling if I will like a person or not. Do they like kids or not? They can even be indifferent and I will be okay with them. But if they hate kids, I reserve the right within myself to label them as someone I don't want to know.

    I just could never be a parent because parenthood isn't for me, lol. I would be really bad at it, so I leave that up to those of you who actually can do it and I respect you for it.

    But to be completely honest, I think the losers who make hating kids and parents their only personality trait, those people are a very loud online minority. I don't believe they are the majority irl. I could be wrong though. I don't know any irl childless people who hate kids. They are either like me, they think kids are cool but they just don't know how to be a parent or they are indifferent to kids or they just never got a chance to start a family.

  • Our duty

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  • That may be true in America, but not every country treats its citizens the way America does. In my country, normal families can go travel or visit zoos or circuses without being rich. Unions are your friend.

  • What's a piece of Media that is so underrated you must mention it?

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  • Everything Satoshi Kon made was great. I personally lost interest in anime when he died because there is literally nobody else who pushed anime in any worthwhile direction other than him, in my humble opinion. My favourite of his has to be a tie between Millennium Actress and Tokyo Godfathers. Perfect Blue was also waaaayyy ahead of its time. It's a masterpiece.

  • Our duty

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  • I very likely have some type of undiagnosed disorder which I will never really know for sure because I don't have the patience, energy or money to get a diagnosis. There are definitely people out there with similar peculiarities to me who are great at raising kids. I just don't want to take the chance and hope for the best when there is no guarantee that I'll be one of the good ones. I'll rather end up an old lady with a couple of regrets than I want to potentially fuck up someone's childhood.

    I get where you're coming from! It IS hard work! I have seen it in the faces and voices of my friends and family for decades haha. But I also see the love and how much these kids bring to their parents' lives. So I totally get what you mean, when you say that your kids don't affect you the same way other people do. To me that just sounds like you're one of the good eggs :D

  • [2026-02-15] Hvordan går det og hvordan har din uge været?

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  • Jeg kan ikke huske hans specifikke forklaring, men den gav fin mening. Jeg har bare en hukommelse som en si så bær over med mig 🤣 Jeg tror at min kæreste siger sådan fordi han har en bestemt retning han ønsker samfundet skal gå i og han bryder sig ikke om at egoister skal præge den, hvis det giver mening.

    han vil gerne at folk bliver samlet og at de kan med hinanden, ikke at splid og vrede bliver dyrket da det sjældent har en positiv effekt på den lange bane... men hans egne ord ville nok være væsentligt mere fyldestgørende en mit forsøg på at referere en samtale, der allerede er ved at sive ud af knolden på mig som sand 🥲

    For mit eget vedkommende er jeg nok lidt som dig. Synes der skal være plads til det hele i kulturen, men jeg anerkender fuldstændig de reaktioner folk kan have, både positive og negative fordi det også er en del af kulturen.

    Men altså... har da også mine laster. Det er totalt reverse når samtalen bliver drejet ind på Woody Allen. Ham har kæreste ingen holdning til, mens jeg foragter ham og hans "film" som pesten. Kæreste lånte en Woody Allen film på et tidspunkt og jeg bandede og svovlede hele vejen igennem den mens kæreste blev ved med at spørge hvorfor jeg hadede ham så meget. Tror min foragt for Woody Allen overskrider min kærestes foragt for Yahya Hassan. Uden pis. Til det punkt hvor jeg næsten ser ned på folk der synes hans film er fede. Hvilket jeg godt ved ikke er fair, men for fanden xD

  • Our duty

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  • Ah yes, the modern version of the "I hate my wife"-joke.

    As a childless person myself, I can tell you that I rarely have the energy to "go have fun" after a long day of work. In fact, I prefer to just be at home and be a boring, basic bitch.

    I can also tell you that almost every parent I know, and I know many because almost everyone my age have kids, are super active and do all kinds of fun things with their kids all the time. Especially those whose kids have gotten older and less dependent. It is a big, big, big misconception that parents never have fun. They do. A lot. They travel, go to parks and museums, theaters, circuses and talks with child entertainers. They take part in local community activities like sports and arts and whatever else is out there and they bond with the other parents who also wish to build a good community for the kids.

    I have also seen how efficient parents are with time management. Not because they were born with that skill, but because they HAD to get good at it, so they pretty much never have a boring day ever. Are they tired and exhausted? Yes. Do they sometimes wish for a break from the kids? Also yes. But I would wager a guess that they all have lives that are tenthousand times more exciting than or many other childless people do. Not that it is a competition. Personally, I like the boring life where I get to do whatever I want without interruptions. I like that I get a break from other people because it overwhelms me to be around more than three people for long stretches of time. That just how I am and that is why I'm childless.

    But I in no way feel superior to parents pr have this childish preconception that parents' lives suck. You can only have that opinion if you're never around people who have kids.

    Sorry for being a party pooper, but I really, really hate this stupid joke and I hope it soon goes out of style and becomes something we look back at and cringe at in the same way we do with "I hate my wife"-jokes.

  • [2026-02-15] Hvordan går det og hvordan har din uge været?

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  • Jo det er sådan jeg selv tænker xD han påvirkede kulturen på en måde og det synes jeg i sig selv er spændende.

    Min kæreste mener at han var gift for kulturen og at hans bidrag til den var ekstremt negativt. Kan sagtens se hans vinkel på det. Jeg har bare ikke selv nogen stærk holdning til ham andet end at jeg synes hans bidrag til kulturen i den tid han var her, var både interessant og mærkeligt, så det vækker min interesse lidt. Faktisk på samme måde som, at jeg fandt de autonome fra ungdomshuset folk på Christiania er interessante. Dem har jeg til gengæld en meget stærk holdning til, men jeg synes også objektivt at de er fascinerende.

    Jeg ville aldrig gide hænge ud med typer, der er sådan, men som et karakterstudie er det vældig spændende.

  • Reason Behind Increasing ADHD Rates??

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  • The ironic part is that a lot of the people who are being diagnosed today are the ones who don't have hyperactive bodies, but hyperactive minds. So those who CAN sit in front of a computer for hours and hours without making a peep, but can't finish a project or do chores or meet on time or follow a conversation etc.

    These people used to slip through the cracks because no one noticed that they spent all their day daydreaming instead of paying attention in class.

  • Life - a poem by my 10yo

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  • So true. And other times they utterly wreck your ability to function out of nowhere.

    I interned at a kindergarten once and was on breakfast duty sometimes. Meant you had to meet at 5 in the morning and prepare breakfast for all the early birds who were dropped off at 6.

    They'd always sit there, so sleepy and slow and soft in their movements. Gradually they'd liven up after a bowl of cornflakes or a piece of toast with butter and cheese. Then one by one they would leave the table and run into the playroom and start their day.

    There would always be a few leftover kids who were extra slow.

    This morning there were two boys left. Both 4 years old at the time. They sit there and one of them has the "lights are on but no one's home" look in his eyes while he's chewing his food. The other one is a bit more lively and he looks up at his friend while I'm putting plates in the dishwasher and he says:

    "Hey A?"

    A: "Mh?"

    B: "is it hard for you to pee in the morning?"

    A: "Mh."

    B: "I think it's very annoying. I can never hit the toilet bowl because my weenie is all pointy in the morning. Is it like that for you too?"

    A: "Mh."

    B: "it's so annoying."

    Meanwhile I have silently collapsed on all fours behind the counter, trying NOT to laugh.

    Took me a few minutes before I was able to return to my job with a neutral face. They are so precious. It was some of the best things about working with kids. Getting to experience the world through their eyes and be confused and amazed alongside them. And then sometimes they just throw a curveball out of nowhere and you just can't react with laughter because they don't know why it's funny and will think you're mocking or shaming them for something they can't control.

    I still cannot comprehend that they are adults now. 20 this year. Those sweet little toddlers with their funny or profound observations. I wish I remembered some of the profound things they said back then, because I know they did, but alas, I mostly remember the accidentally funny things.

  • [2026-02-15] Hvordan går det og hvordan har din uge været?

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  • Jeg tænker at det er godt at du søger noget andet, hvis der hvor du var, gjorde dig dårlig.

    Folkeskolen er altså også bare en barsk arbejdsplads. Ved dog ikke om jeg er enig i at man kan kaste skylden på integrationen. Kender en der også arbejder i folkeskolen, endda på en skole med et flertal af indvandrerbørn og ifølge vedkommende er problematikken ikke så meget om integrationen virker eller ej, men om de mennesker der kommer her, er indvandrere eller flygtninge. Flygtninge, ifølge personen, har ofte en tendens til ikke at integrere sig i samfundet fordi de faktisk bare venter på at komme hjem igen. Nogle af dem holder håbet oppe om at de kan komme hjem i årevis mens krig hærger i deres hjemland, men de kommer ikke hjem. Så de lever et liv i limbo, en konstant venteposition i stedet for at acceptere deres situation og begynde at bygge noget op her. Og så er der reelle indvandrere som kommer her og lærer sproget og integrerer sig fordi de vil Danmark.

    Jeg har også selv mødt begge dele i mit eget erhverv, som er meget internationalt. De fleste af dem jeg arbejder sammen med er så europæiske indvandrere og nogle af dem er her så kun for at arbejde og derfor see de ikke rigtig Danmark som deres land, lærer ikke sproget og integrerer sig ikke rigtigt i samfundet som dem der ønsker at bo her.

    Det er ikke for at tage noget fra sig og dine oplevelser, men synes bare jeg ville dele denne vinkel på det som måske også er en del af hvorfor integrationen ikke altid virker for alle.

    Skal selvfølgelig heller ikke være nogen hemmelighed at folkeskolen har været en spareøvelse siden Fogh så alle ressourcer der kunnet have stået til rådighed for lærere og pædagoger er på nuværende tidspunkt alle blevet skåret og regeringerne fortsætter alligevel med at pille de sidste rester af knoglerne selvom der snart ikke er mere at give af.

    Jeg har meget sympati med lærere og pædagoger og de udfordringer de står med. Det er bare ikke nemt at være blevet sat i en spændetrøje mens klumpedumperne på Christiansborg render rundt og tror at de ved hvordan man driver folkeskolen bedre end eskperterne: lærerne, pædagogerne og psykologerne.

    Og mens de gør arbejdet så svært for dem som muligt, så giver de dem også et større ansvar for mindre tid og penge fordi folkeskolen nu også skal være med til at løse opgaver så som integration, men også inklusion af elever med udfordringer i stadigt større klasser på færre skoler.

    Det må jo føre til problemer, der rammer samfundet hårdt på den lange bane. Det kunne en blind mand se allerede i 00erne da det hele begyndte.

  • [2026-02-15] Hvordan går det og hvordan har din uge været?

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  • Vinterferien er slut. Jeg tror, at jeg har lært at slappe ordentligt af. Faktisk nok til at de kreative krummelurer i hjernen er begyndt at slå lidt gnister igen.

    Sidder stadig fast halvvejs gennem Yahya Hassans digte, men pløjede gennem hele Stephen Kings Misery i går. Det giver jo ingen mening.

    Det er mega rart, at begynde at føle den form for kreativitet spire igen. Det er stadig ikke et sted, hvor jeg kan benytte den eller sige at den er tilbage, men bare følelsen af at have lyst til at skabe noget igen er en kæmpe lettelse.

    Kæreste fortalte i øvrigt, at han hader Yahya Hassan, ikke fordi han var kriminel, men fordi han var "en kæmpe egoist, der ikke gav en fuck for andre. Desuden var han ikke nogen stor poet eller noget særligt sprogtalent. Han brugte de samme vendinger igen og igen og igen og for mig er det ikke et tegn på kreativitet. Snarere det modsatte." ... men det er stadig kultur, siger jeg mens digtsamlingen ligger og bliver til støv på mit natbord.😭

  • [2026-02-15] Hvordan går det og hvordan har din uge været?

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  • 🤗🤗 lyder godt nok som en hektisk omgang, men trods alt godt at det hele er endt lykkeligt! Håber du får tanket noget energi op de næste par uger!

  • Langsomt farvel til Reddit

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  • Der er bare ikke rigtig noget alternativ til youtube, sådan rigtigt, fordi det youtube virkelig kan er at give gode communities mulighed for at gro og blomstre. Der er også meget ligegyldigt lort på siden, men hold nu op hvor er det dog en uudtømmelig guldgrube af niche-interesser.

  • Langsomt farvel til Reddit

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  • Ja nemlig. Og der er skabere på youtube som du ikke rigtig kan få andre steder.

    Teknisk set ville jeg godt kunne lytte til Creepcast via Spotify og helt skære youtube-delen, men jeg kan godt lide at jeg kan se værternes reaktioner på de ting de læser og deres editors laver nogle sjove visuelle gags som går tabt på Spotify. Og så kan jeg generelt ikke lide Spotify fordi de ikke betaler deres kunstnere ordentligt. Der er youtube trods alt stadig lidt mere fair og giver sine skabere lidt bedre muligheder for at tjene penge - som det er ligenu. Jeg har ikke nogen illusioner om at youtube er en uskyldsren platform, der har sine skaberes ve og vel i højsædet. De virker bare æist mere fair end de andre primært platforme, hvilket er trist.

    For mig er det følelsen af community som er så nem at få på youtube og underligt svær at mangle, hvor ynkeligt det end lyder. Synes det er så hyggeligt at tjekke ind hver søndag aften og så er der en ny episode af Creepcast, der skaber nye memes i fanbasen og næsten alle episoder er værd at gense. Så ja... jeg ved sgu ikke lige hvordan jeg skal vriste mig fri af det.

    Ser også andre ting og følger andre communities på youtube, men de har været utroligt nemme at skære fra af en eller anden grund. Creepcast kan jeg ikke slippe. 🤷‍♀️

  • Langsomt farvel til Reddit

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  • Så længe man finder sin egen måde at gøre det på, så bifalder jeg alle taktikker xD

    Jeg slettede min reddit rimelig hurtigt efter at have oprettet mig herinde. Savner det ikke rigtigt. Eneste tidspunkter, hvor jeg tjekker det, er for at se hvad der sker på Creepcasts subreddit og ellers ikke.

    Min egen last ligger i youtube, men det var et nytårsfortsæt at få skåret hårdt i youtube og det er indtil videre gået ret godt med e-reolen som erstatning. Vil nok stadig gå til youtube for at lytte til creepcast, men ellers er behovet lige så stille begyndt at dale. Havde regnet med at det ville være meget sværere end det har været. Måske ender det med at sådan noget som total stilhed også er til at holde ud? Eller også må jeg få fat i en ghettoblaster og begynde at købe CDer igen.

  • KVINFO mener, kommuners snerydning forskelsbehandler kønnene

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  • Det ved jeg ikke. Jeg er ikke ekspert på området. Jeg valgte bare at lytte til podcastet før jeg kommenterede på det. 🤷‍♀️

  • KVINFO mener, kommuners snerydning forskelsbehandler kønnene

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  • Det bruger ligestillingsloven til at få kommunerne til at tage hånd om et generelt problem. Det er meget simpelt.

  • Something Swedish

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  • Don't feel too bad. They kinda suck. We have them in Denmark too. We have two types of Fastelavnsboller and I prefer these:

    They have custard inside. Sometimes a bit of chocolate too. The ones with whipped cream is nothing but a whipped cream burger with a bit of depressing jam inside. They suck. In my humble opinion. I'm sure they have the good fastelavnsboller in Sweden too. But yeah. Still a seasonal thing.