Yeah, it’s it’s a real big mental wall. I hope you’re doing well. It’s just I wish my family would just for once. Tell me it’s not the alcohol that’s stopping you. It’s all the things you’ve been going through. You know I never even you know I never even had a drink with my dad like she never sat me down with a beer and yet alcohol. It was something he did in the closet. My mom would tell me your dad‘s an alcoholic and I said always not. He never drinks in front of me you know it’s not fair my sister he gave her a sip of beer when she was seven not the proudest thing, but at least she got a zip a drink with her dad even if she was seven not it’s not a fun story, but he never he never bought me a drink my whole life, but he could complain about me being an Alcoholic and all I wanted is was just to be loved and sometimes it just feels like can’t you just say you’re an alcoholic kid let me buy you a drink get it over with and work on your future you know stop blaming the alcohol when you won’t even buy me a drink you know I’m 40 years old and I never had a drink with my dad, but I’m gonna I’m a closet alcoholic. My brother is my uncle. They all died of alcohol poisoning and there’s my mom crying. She has to see all of my uncles die of alcohol poisoning. It’s like could you just just buy me one beer and get it over with? Maybe I could finally kick the habit it’s such a sad thing. I’m never gonna have a drink with my Dad and I’m gonna be at closet alcoholic my whole life and there’s nothing I can do.