Oof, I'm so sorry. It's so hard to work around people you deeply disagree with on a philosophical or moral level, and I won't even pretend to understand your struggles as a trans person in this world. Good luck to you, and I hope you can find access to the medications or treatments you need.
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Their goal is to make sure that when they go down there is no one left to hold them accountable. They're making sure everyone else goes down before them. This regime will never be held accountable, Trump should be in jail right now and the government and the courts all decided that would be unfair to the poor orange billionaire who never emotionally matured beyond a whiny spoiled child who is bitter that the other kids don't like him and is determined to make them pay instead of learning how to get along and share his toys.
I have ADHD. I can usually hold my shit together at work, and I work 16 hour shifts. Some days my coworkers will notice enough to ask me if I've taken my meds, but most days I appear pretty chill. I'll bet if you asked the majority of my coworkers they'd tell you I'm not ADHD.
What they don't see is me going home and sobbing on the floor from the sheer effort and desperation of trying holding my shit together and not fuck up in ways that I can't fix. I'm terrified every fucking day that today will be the day I fuck up enough that I can't hide how bad my brain actually is anymore and I'll make a critical error and I'll lose my job. I don't have a backup plan or someone to catch me if I fail, I'll just be homeless at the end of the month when I can't make rent.
This is such a good answer and I hate that it's true.
I also am a one income household and also am no stranger to having to choose "rent or groceries" on a regular basis. I hate that you can't get food assistance unless you make minimum wage, but where I live they release analysis every year that a single adult needs to make at least 3x minimum wage just to be able to afford to exist with a one bedroom apartment at market rates and that's without having extra money for savings, hobbies, or going out.
I have fucked up so many things in my life but I will always be eternally grateful that I never fucked up and got pregnant.
The Lemmy version is: "guys I want to install Linux because I'm not comfortable with Windows but I'm not a tech genius and I just want a computer that I can install the OS and not have to worry about it again because I don't have a lot of free time and I don't want to have to spend hours troubleshooting it ever and I don't understand any of the terms you guys throw around when you're discussing Linux. I don't know what OS to choose or how to set up the post install and I'm super confused, I hear you talk about repos, and incompatibility with drivers, and picking different options that I don't understand what they are or how to choose and it's like you're all speaking a different language." "well if you want to rot with Windows then you deserve to have all your personal data stolen, it's a willing choice you made at this point you idiot, why are you even here?"
Update, if anyone is interested. Kitty is ok, but things ended up being worse than the vet realized. Externally everything looked good except needing a cleaning and the vet thought maybe a tooth might need extracted, but when they did X-rays 4 of his teeth were being resorbed by his body and the roots were basically gone, so they needed to be pulled. Poor guy is doing good, very unhappy about his current life situation and will be medicated and in a cone for the next 2 weeks, but I'm glad it's taken care of and he's home.
Emergency room wait times in my area are regularly 8+ hours because uninsured, underinsured, or just plain dumb people can't or won't go see their doctor and go to the Emergency room for all their medical care because they know they can't be turned away. So you have someone sitting in the Emergency room waiting to take a pregnancy test that they could have just bought at the pharmacy next to someone who has had a cold for a week and thinks the ER docs have some magic pill to make them instantly better. Meanwhile they're also trying to treat things like strokes and heart attacks and major traumas and non life threatening but legitimate emergencies like major broken bones and more acute illnesses. Everyone is miserable and no one wins except the insurance companies.
Oof, I don't know how I'd function if I had a toddler. Single parents amaze me, I can barely function as a single person. I have pretty bad ADHD and work is an absolute white knuckle struggle, but I have absolutely no one since my last relationship failed and I don't want to be homeless so I cry a lot at home and then slap a smile on and grind through my shift.
Vet bills are the worst, but my cats don't have the option to do anything about their situation or choose to work different jobs or change things about their life so it feels wrong to decline medical care and potentially make them suffer when they don't get a say in the matter. I can make that choice for myself and my own medical care, but it feels cruel to make that choice for them, you know? They're stuck in whatever life I give them, so I try to make it better than mine.
I hope your cat is ok!
Kitty will be ok, thank you. Just needs teethies taken care of. If we're lucky not pulled, just anesthesia and deep cleaned, so not really surgery, but still expensive as hell. If not lucky, teeth pulled and painkillers, so more like surgery. He goes in tomorrow, both of us will be very unhappy.
Reading this while working a shift that will put me at 85 hours of work this week. Will be able to buy groceries this month and pay for the surgery my cat needs. Also, am tired AF.
Beat Saber was fun until I tried Synth Riders.
Then I modded Skyrim VR. All my other VR games have been abandoned forever.
DnD nerds freaking out at the thought of Thieves Cant becoming a legitimate skill.
It's an awful thing but also amusing in its own way. When I used to go out with my ex I always had to memorize what he was wearing. One time we were at the grocery store and I forgot what shirt he was dressed in. I went off to get something from another aisle and when I came back he was gone. Eventually he physically grabbed me while I was walking past and found it very funny to tell me that he been laughing while watching me walk right past him about 5 times in a growing panic because I couldn't find him.
That's what fixed the rest of what was left of my toxic worldview. I started working in healthcare. I've treated people from all over the world. I've treated people who speak so many different languages. I've treated people of all religions. I've treated different gender identities and sexual preferences. I've treated people I knew were rapists or murderers (fucking worst, but you grit your teeth and treat them like human beings who need healthcare). I've treated so many refugees from various places (love the refugees, keep them in the US!)
All of them are just people. I've met a lot of really shitty people and a lot of really good people. It's hard to hate a group of people when you meet individuals from a particular subset and realize they have the same hopes and fears as you. At the end of the day, we all just want to go to our respective homes and be safe and loved and alive and there shouldn't be anything political about that.
Talking to him and being a good person can do more than you realize.
I was raised white Christian nationalist, although we didn't call it that and I wouldn't have realized that's what I was. I was taught all the conservative bullshit, both politically and socially. Thankfully there was always a part of me that was like "something isn't right here" and I kept my mouth shut and was never the bully going around mouthing off to gay kids or minorities, but I definitely thought things like "being gay is a choice" and "poor people should just work harder" and "abortion is something welfare queens do" but also "welfare queens have lots of babies for more money".
Being around people like you who were nonjudgmental and just talked about their point of view and occasionally gently challenged my beliefs without being confrontational opened my worldview and helped give me the courage to listen to the voice in my head that was saying something felt wrong with the belief system I was raised in. I'd always been taught things like liberals were stupid and lacked critical thinking skills and acted solely on emotions and I was young and kept in a bubble and was dumb enough to believe it until I started meeting people who proved otherwise. That was enough to start the cracks forming that eventually shattered the entire wall of lies. I'm now a raging socialist and I don't care how people live their lives as long as they aren't harming anyone else. I don't think I would have ended up that way if I wasn't someone who is willing to think for myself and who isn't afraid to be the "black sheep", because leaving that mindset lost me my family, but I definitely wouldn't have ever been able to start down the path I'm on if I was never exposed to people like you who started showing me the lies in the first place.
Yes. I didn't get diagnosed with ADHD until I was in my 30s. By then I had already spent my entire life hating myself for being an utter failure because I couldn't figure out why just having a simple existence felt like trying to climb Mount fucking Everest every goddamn day and why my brain always feels like scrambled eggs. I've been passively suicidal most of my life because even as a kid the adults in my life openly compared me to my peers and found me sorely lacking, and as an adult I mourn the life I want and can't seem to achieve. I feel like my entire existence has been me throwing myself at the bars of a giant cage labelled ADHD and I can't get myself out or find the key and people come stand outside the door and watch me and say things like "everyone has focus issues" and "you just need to try harder" and my personal fucking favorite "nothing in your brain is impossible to fix if you're willing to put in the effort, you just are unwilling to change".
My ADHD has taken everything from me. I have no friends, not even online, I've dropped out of school multiple times, I struggle at work, I struggle to emotionally regulate, I've only ever had two relationships and I was dumped by text from the person I was married to and ghosted from the other.
I actually have an okay paying job now, but I fully expect I will die alone and broke because the chances of me ever being able to keep a career that pays well enough to stay ahead in this economy are slim to none. I have no idea how to make or keep friends, and I can't bear the thought of getting attached to someone else only to get ghosted again.
I'd do anything to not have ADHD. Sure I'll laugh and make ADHD jokes with everyone else, but my life would be so different if my brain would fucking work (or if I would have been diagnosed sooner and learned coping mechanisms and self love sooner).
- JumpDeleted
NYC election day
I'm not a NYC resident, so I can't vote in their election, but I wouldn't vote for Cuomo if I was!
:)
(Not a bot)
That's incredibly unfair. Everyone says we don't, but I just checked my timesheet and it's listed as a 13 hour shift (instead of 12) with a notation marking it as happening during a time shift.
Loneliness. Lima beans. The smell of weed.