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InitialsDiceBearhttps://github.com/dicebear/dicebearhttps://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/„Initials” (https://github.com/dicebear/dicebear) by „DiceBear”, licensed under „CC0 1.0” (https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/)J
Posts
2
Comments
277
Joined
2 yr. ago

  • 👍

  • I like to think of it as giving people an opening.

    Make a comment or two that invites discussion. If it takes, great. Maybe chat for a minute, maybe for a while.

    If not, oh well, better luck next time.

    Wo is interested and who is not is extremely easy to discern, in my opinion. The fact that you clearly think otherwise is not surprising, but I do think it’s easier than you give it credit for.

  • push ahead

    These two words completely mischaracterize the situation.

    Guessing you haven’t bothered with the links I posted, since you haven’t spoken to them and continue to just try to find ways to pick at some point that I’m not trying to make, but I encourage you to take a few minutes to read them with an open mind.

  • Sorry. I misread your comment as “people on their phones”.

    Then deleted my incorrect reply. I did this before you replied with this sweet gotcha.

  • Yes. What is your point?

  • But you won't know if it will bring them joy or not.

    That’s true. Hard to predict the future.

    I’d say it’s a lot more likely that joy or anxiety are the outlier cases, and just a kind of indifference, with a positive tone, is the baseline.

    But you push ahead, even in situations where people are stuck.

    And now we’re back to bad assumptions and straw men.

    Fine fine, one more link.

    https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fa0037323

    Non-paywall summary: https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/07/26/744267015/want-to-feel-happier-today-try-talking-to-a-stranger

  • It wouldn't cost you anything not to bother others,

    Also doesn’t cost anything to bring some joy, or if not joy, at least novelty, into people’s lives.

    I'm sure your intentions are good but you will be making a lot of people uncomfortable in your attempt to connect with them.

    I think you dramatically overestimate how many people are made uncomfortable due to your own anxieties about it. I also think you’re missing out on little opportunities for joy in your life.

    I can keep posting links, but it’s pretty clear you’re not reading them. (ETA: they might have been in other threads)

    There's better places for that than public transit or a plane.

    There are also plenty of worse ones.

  • I’m not trying to get into the “how to disengage from a stranger” conversation, but your assessment of people interacting in public seems to be predicated with an assumption that they dont understand people.

    You have made some additional bad assumptions about how you think the interactions I’m proposing should go, and how and when they should stop.

    The good news is that this hostility toward the world that you seem to set on projecting from these comments is usually pretty obvious, so I probably wouldn’t have bothered.

    Just put your headphones on and your hoodie up so you can get back to arguing with strangers on the internet, and continue your transit in misery.

  • So don’t be subtle.

  • Or… shudder… shut down the conversation with your words and body language.

    Oh god the anxiety of it all.

  • But public transport? Nobody wants to be there. You've got a goal and it's not socialising, it's getting somewhere. Maybe you're anxious about going to the doctor, maybe you're anticipating a shitty workday.

    Fully with you.

    It's annoying to have to talk to other people when you're trying to think about things.

    I would argue that a large chunk of the people you describe above are not “trying to think about things”, they’re just trying to get to point B. They’ve got a goal, after all.

    And again, research consistently shows that these interactions tend to be viewed much more positively after they happen than those same people expected them to be, and it holds for either side of the interaction.

    I’m sure I’m preaching to the atheists here in the comments. All those replying here all seem to be convinced already, and that’s fine.

    Guess I just think it’s interesting that those that would bother to come on the internet to talk to strangers are so convinced that it would be annoying to talk to strangers.

    People on the bus or train are just people.

  • Heh yeah that’s rough.

    Baffling that you didn’t switch seats though.

  • the [drunk & homeless are the] only ones who randomly talk to strangers most of the time

    I’m not going to question your experience too much, but it’s sad to me that this would be true.

    A random conversation in a random interaction with somebody you could have easily not talked to can be great fun.

  • I’m the guy who takes a shot at a random conversation on the plane.

    Doesn’t often turn into anything, but sometimes it’s a nice little glimpse into humanity.

    Guess I don’t know what trains you’re on that are so full of the drunk and homeless, but that sounds like a problem in its own right.

  • Got it. Obese people are hitlerpigs. Thanks for clearing that up.

  • Dear god.