gerryflap

Get shit back on track I guess. On the one hand I shouldn't have much to complain. I own an apartment, have enough money to get by and buy myself something nice every now and then. But mentally and physically I'm a bit of a trainwreck at the moment. Burnt out and unsure what I really want from all of this. I kept going on too long in a state that provided me everything I wanted on paper, but somehow caused a lot of trouble in practice. Ignored my hobbies for so long that I don't really know how to start with them again. I need my younger spirit back. The one that just did things because it sounded fun without overthinking or focusing on the end result. But I feel like corporate life has poisoned me to think in results and plan everything in advance.

Oh thanks! I'm not a native English speaker so I had no idea. Google Translate came up with swing carousel or something, but I had never heard of that so I figured just carousel would be enough.

Photo's like these are why I love analog. The grain and the colours are just special in a way that is almost impossible to get with digital photography.

2 things come to mind:

The first thing is that at one point many years ago we participated in Rocket League's RLCS. Participation was completely open. We were actually doing quite well until we randomly ran into pro players and got completely demolished. It's kinda humbling to know that even though you're part of the top ~1% of players, pro players are still in a totally different league and absolutely unbeatable. Their speed and game sense is so much better than that of any mere mortal, it's like we weren't even there. We were probably low Grand Champion around the time, and we got beaten like we would beat Gold ranked players. Personally I don't mind losing like this, it's a good learning experience and shows you how much is possible.

At uni I also participated in plenty of LAN parties that had random game competitions. Usually they were games that a lot of us didn't ever play before. We'd usually start playing the game a few hours in advance to get a feel for it. There I've found that I'm quite decent at this usually, but that there are definitely a few people who can get quite decent at a game in 2 hours to the point that they challenge people with casual experience with the game. It as always good fun though, and because I tended to put some effort into it I regularly managed to get into the top 3.

Yeah that might work. Its now kinda in the middle where It's too blurred to look sharp but not blurred enough to really accentuate the speed. Sadly I don't yet have an ND filter to try it

Ah I was already confused but this is a cross-post. Thanks for cross-posting! I probably should do so myself next time

Ik had helaas niet de lens bij me om dat mee te kunnen beoordelen :(

For now. If the payment providers truly want this then it's only a matter of time. GOG can't function without them either

Thanks! I also caught some other trains but I didn't have the right settings. I thought that it would be cool to have the train with some motion blur while the rest was still and sharp. But in practice I didn't really vibe with it. Having the main subject of the photo blurry kinda makes the whole image seem blurry

I'm also autistic next to suspected AD(H)D and I sometimes have the annoying tendency to just talk over people when they take way too long to say something when I already know what they're going to say. It's not a great thing to do but sometimes people just talk so slowly. I wish people would just speak a bit faster so my mind doesn't constantly ping-pong everywhere in the second half of their sentences

A bit over 5 years ago I was not in a good place myself. Struggling to be motivated for anything, only seeing trouble in the future, and often I just randomly started crying and was just out of it for a few hours. Things got pretty dark, and thus I sought and found help with a psychologist. I also discussed all of these things with my friends. Slowly my outlook started to change, and a few months later I started seeing some light again. I was barely on my feet again, feeling rebuilt and filled with a new spirit of hope.

At this moment a couple of other friends were also dealing with their demons, but most of them discussed these and we generally managed to help each other. One of them did not. Instead he chose to end it all. The situation hit us like a truck. While I cannot possibly compare our situations, nor do I know what exactly went through his mind, it always felt like a mirror. A parallel path that I could've chosen. The scars of this never went away, the damage it did to all of us will remain forever. I don't blame him for anything, nor do I think it was the "weak" option. But I'm just sad, because I feel like it shouldn't have happened. A culture where men (or people in general I guess) feel ashamed to share their struggles, where they feel like they have to lie to maintain their "pride", creates an environment where people corner themselves in lies and darkness until there is no way out.

What I personally learned from this whole ordeal is how much damage something like this does. Not only did we lose someone bright, it also permanently damaged many people who loved him. It might not feel like people around you care, but for pretty much everyone there are people in your life who do care. I've also seen how I personally can pull out of a very dark place and suddenly feel happiness with the most mundane things again. And seeing these 2 paths, I will always remember that no matter how shit the current situation is, as long as there's any hope that in the future things may be better, then that's a hope worth fighting for. In almost every situation there's a light at the end of the tunnel, you may not see it and it may be far away, but once you reach it you can have many years of happy life ahead of you.

Well if you only listen to Taylor Swift then that's valid, but most people have a more diverse music taste so for them this doesn't apply. The artists I personally listen to (and the labels they're signed to) are often relatively small and genuine, and to them every bit of income is appreciated. Obviously merch, shows, and direct music sales help more, but getting paid more by streaming services sure would help a great deal as well.

Even people who've been at it for years. I am skeptical of the AI hype bubble as much as anyone here, but it's been very useful for fixing things in Linux. Just in the past years it helped me (among others):

Find an obscure bug that was reported that same day in the kernel, and helped me switch to the LTS kernel to prevent these issues.
Help me setup up a random 35mm film scanner that I found with cups, and then help me set up a win XP VM when that didn't work out
Help me fix bluray playback yesterday after VLC suddenly randomly started to refuse playing it.

I quite like the climate here in the Netherlands. Could do with some colder winters though because ice skating on natural ice is becoming more and more rare. The Dutch weather gives us something to bitch an moan about, but relatively speaking it's very mild. No deadly heat or cold, no tornadoes or hurricanes. Though I think I prefer the "old" climate a bit more than what it's changing into. The hotter summer days and milder winters are not ideal

We can clearly see that this design is silly, because it allows for so many invalid states. Yet when we represent some type, let's say in Java, were so often forced to do this exact same thing. Have variables in a container of which only a certain combination is valid. And then have at most a comment saying "this number is only valid if X is also set" or "if the validity boolean is true". Luckily Java finally has some ability for the so-called sum types now, just like Haskell's data types or Rust's enum types. Imo any language should have this.

The "anti-woke" men at my office once crowned me the "woke police" because I commented on one of their sexist/racist/homophobic/ whatever "jokes". It's my badge of honour. The weird part is that we kinda entered into some sort of cold war. I could comment on their "jokes", pretending it was in jest as part of my job as "woke police", while still getting the message across. I guess it kinda kept some semblance of friendliness and ability to cooperate while we still got our opinions out.

Retain my knowledge of the (west) Frysian language. At one point I spoke it fairly well, but I can only understand it now and not speak or write it. It wouldn't really have helped me in any way, but I guess it would've given me a bit more of a regional identity and it would be nice to preserve the language.

Damn I should do this. I've gotten "Dear ${name}" before tho

Tbh at the moment I just have an idea, tell everyone about it, and I have no energy for it for 2 weeks and forget about it. It's more frustrating because you don't even get the satisfaction of starting anything and seeing the early rapid progress before ditching it

gerryflap

@ gerryflap @feddit.nl

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3 yr. ago

gerryflap

What do you hope to achieve in the next 5 years?

Carousel at night [Olympus Superzoom 70 | Fujifilm 400]

Bundestag Station [ Nikon FM2 | 50mm F1.8 | Kodak Ultramax 400 ]

Gamers have you ever been in a game competition or something similar?

[OC] Train cutting through the landscape

Train cutting through the landscape

Train cutting through the landscape

Permanently Deleted

[OC] Train cutting through the landscape

Neurospicy

Have you ever had a close friend die and it changed your view of life?

YSK: Deezer, the music streaming service, is owned by a company whose Founder and CEO is a Russian Oligarch with connections to the Kremlin and donates to the American Republican party.

Shouting into the void

TIL I'm a cat

What kind of climate do you prefer?

Peak UI Design

Oops! All woke!

What's something you wish you did/didn't do when you were a child, but wouldn't change you much even if that was the case?

The Art of Prompting

Starting Projects