Snake masseuse. Snakes get stressed, too.

Was it a myth members of the Bin Laden family were allowed to fly out of the country?

There’s a genocidal war criminal in Israel could use a bit of that.

The Few. The Proud. The Pedo Protectors.

Of course. They’re very good a selective outrage.

And the FBI thought having to watch people through their computer screens was a shitty job.

Play to your strengths, I guess.

“Squawk! Get out of there, other bird’s jizz! You do not belong in there! You are not my jizz! Squawk!”

So do ducks. And pigs.

Hidden surveillance cameras captured Liu opening government computers and swapping hardware during the midnight shift.

46 times? What were they waiting for?!

Isn’t that one of Musk’s sock puppets?

It was a serious question. Thank you for providing a serious answer.

The Continental Army taking over the airports from the British during the American Revolutionary War in the 1770s.

/s

I heard he has a poor work ethic. In school, he cut one entire week. At work he likes to blow off entire months.

Still, I’ll give him credit for his hobby as a fromager. He sure does like to cut the cheese.

On the opposite side, why do vegans spend so much time and energy trying to make replacements of meat products? Not protein, but vegan sausages, vegan bacon, vegan eggs, that sort of thing. They’re trying to replace the very thing they gave up with something that looks and tastes like the very thing they gave up.

It’d be funny if AGI emerged, hooked into manufacturing plants, and announced the best way forward for humanity was for it to kill the billionaires.

Existence is something humans have been trying to get away from for a long time …

Justice League, but with Weird Al as Wonder Woman.

No you didn’t.

Don’t caunz the raw prawn with me, mate!