How… how do they know what the frog doesn’t taste like?

Darwin approves.

That sounds bad. Can’t I just subscribe to have them provided for $9.99/mo each? Sounds much better.

“Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down? You’ll have to get more specific as to which particular deception you mean.”

Maybe ingest it and then use UV light or inject bleach. I hear Ivermectin helps against everything.

Imagine working in a gorilla sanctuary.

Anakin: “Aww, a piñata too! You shouldn’t have!”

Could stand a good 90% more cropping.

I’m sure he’ll get right onto disclosing as soon as he discloses his tax returns like he promised.

Dematerialising is included in the basic package. Subscribe to access features like rematerialising now!

2025 obligatory alternatives to social distancing:

-Isolate in the office, just never go home (and keep working of course)

-Instead of not going to work, you can get a free brain worm at one of the new brain worm dispensaries

-ingest a lethal dose of Ivermectin

-Storm and plunder one of the official buildings on the list published on the Department of Patriotism’s website (must bring own gallows parts)

Oh yeah? And what if someone ignores that, simply lies and says it’s toxic? I’m convinced!

Says right there: they dug to find them. Actually finding them might have better chances elsewhere, on account of the bodies being elsewhere, but the light was better here and they didn’t have to walk that far.

That’s not how this works. When Trumpers take any sort of action, it’s good, when the same action is taken or not taken by anyone on the other side it’s bad. How do Trump voters know which is which? Easy, Fox tells them, no need to think.

Where does a 600 pound gorilla sit?

How else would one mass-produce gullible, uneducated voting cattle to exploit and fleece?

1. Take onions.
2. Pickle them.

Turns out Epstein didn’t commit suicide after all: He just fell out of his notoriously unsecured cell window on the basement floor while the cameras were off.

“Fell out of window.”

“He was on the ground floor.”

“Fell out of window and face-planted twenty-six times.”

“Cancel that. Just got an order from the top: we can’t trust antidotes anymore because Big Antidote and Jewish Space Lasers Inc failed to pay fealty to our Supreme Leader and were thus always enemies of the people. Throw out any remaining antidotes and give the patients some roadkill or whale carcasses to eat, that’ll do them good.”