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381
Joined
3 yr. ago

  • Soup

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  • Cucumber water is a thing.

    Realistically, 15% is too high but if the section for water was any shorter the word wouldn’t fit inside.

  • I love his stupid little face.

  • I don’t think I’ve ever been as excited about something for such a sustained period as I am about IWTV Season 3. Thanks for making my life better, vampires!

  • I just wanted to build scientific instruments on satellites. Sucks when the company you worked at for 18 years gets sold to an arms dealer.

  • And “Not my circus, not my monkeys” should be “Why did I rent all these monkeys? This was a mistake.”

  • I keep finding new little things like this. For example, I started crying at the dentist during a routine appointment. Turns out that time I had oral surgery and was given insufficient anesthesia kinda traumatized me and I didn’t realize it had stuck with me like that. Huh, new fear unlocked. Lucky me.

  • At 41 I’m surprised by how much more self confident I have become. I still remember what it felt like being the insecure girl I was in high school, but it’s so obvious to me now that the things I was afraid of then were silly. I wish I had worried less and enjoyed life more back then, but I’m glad I have come as far as I have. I wonder when I look back in another 25 years if I’ll feel just as foreign to myself at 41.

  • NSFW Deleted

    Permanently Deleted

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  • I was eaten by an escalator once. I was around five, and going up with my toes pressed forward against the stair above me. As I got to the top, the stairs slid together pinching the ends of both my tennis shoes between them and trapping me. I yelped and a quick-thinking adult family friend who was just ahead of me pulled me up and right out of my shoes. The ends of both of them got shredded by the grating at the top of the escalator and I was walking around for a while with my (fortunately unharmed) toes sticking out the ends of them.

    I’m 41 now and still wary on escalators. I carefully position my feet in the center of the stair and will hold up any long clothes like skirts that might get caught accidentally. My husband thinks it’s funny.

  • She only does anal

  • It’s entirely about self identification. There’s no gender policing, they just kindly ask people who start their comments with phrases like “as a man…” or “not a woman, but…” to refrain from further commenting. They don’t even delete the comments unless the guy keeps going. Even still, inevitably if the post reaches the front page all the women in the comments will be drowned out by highly upvoted “as a man…” commenters. They just want to have a conversation without being shouted over.

  • Crows remember the 90s.

  • me_irl

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  • True, but toast was invented in 2003. Shortly thereafter a millennial added avocado and the rest is history.

    Fun fact, “toast” is named after a kitchen appliance called a “toaster”, which was originally designed to warm up pop tarts. Legend has it a homemaker was storing some bread slices in the poptart slots of her toaster to keep the cat from licking them. The lever was accidentally engaged and the bread emerged from the toaster golden brown and crunchy. She tried a bite and was surprised to find it was not just edible but actually delicious!

  • Yeah, notice there are never feel-good stories about “my mother wanted an abortion but she was forced to give birth to me against her will” with happy endings of loving families.

  • 🐸🪩🐸🪩🐸🪩🐸

  • You have earned yourself a tag

  • Artist’s rendering for the uninitiated:

  • Not arbitrary. Base 10 because we usually have 10 fingers and those are useful for learning counting. If you have to choose a base, 10 is a good option for humans.