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Vanth

@ Vanth @reddthat.com

Posts
6
Comments
790
Joined
3 yr. ago

  • People of Lemmy: would you date a single parent?

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  • I would never say single parents shouldn't date. What a horrible thing to say. Some single parents maybe shouldn't date while they get their personal lives in a good place, but that applies to anyone whether they have kids or not.

    As for whether I would date one, sure. Age of kid(s), how the single parent sees my role, and where they are with establishing custody if there's another parent in the picture matters.

    Very unlikely to date a single father ever again. Tried that multiple times and the draw of gender roles to put mother-type responsibilities on me was an ever-present threat.

    The single mothers I've dated had their child-rearing under control, had good communication, and were intentional with how they asked me to interact with their kids. Much healthier for the kids and for our relationships.

    I probably wouldn't date someone with multiple very young children. I will not date someone in the middle of contentious divorce or custody negotiations.

  • Those who have moved residences, do you still remember all the places you've been, do you feel anything about it when remembering it or looking at street views? Do you feel sentinmental about it?

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  • No, I don't remember all the places. I had a stretch of time not being welcome at my home address, so couch surfed for a couple months. I stayed in at least six different places. That summer is a blur.

  • Who is an artist or public figure you still enjoy despite them being cancelled for bad behaviour?

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  • Leto is impervious to cancellation somehow. He managed to tank Morbius in theaters not once but twice. Plus something like 9 sexual assault allegations. How are any studios still taking a risk on him? Either people are gonna hate any movie he's in, or he's going to get caught assaulting women again. Why, why, why, when there are so many men out there who are better actors and who don't assault their coworkers?

  • Do you hate public/shared bathrooms?

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  • When they're dirty and/or when the doors are terrible. 1 inch gaps between panels, loose or missing hardware, door flies open and I make eye contact with a stranger walking by as I'm poopin'.

  • What was the last dvd/cd your burned? do you still use such media?

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  • I had a college sports team reunion and several teammates asked for a copy of a championship game. I still had the digital file, so posted it in a Dropbox thinking that would be easy enough for people whose hobbies don't involve computers.

    Nope, I was spending too much time on tech support so offered flash drives with video files.

    Nope, still too much for two teammates so after a phone call to understand what tech they had at home and were comfortable with, I burned them each DVDs.

    It didn't get that far, but I was prepared to use my library's digital-to-VHS-to-digital workstation to copy them an old-timey VHS tape if the DVDs didn't work. The library even has a stash of never-unwrapped VHS tapes they'll sell you.

  • People who have used dating apps before, what was your experience like?

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  • Pre-covid, I had used Tinder, OKC, others a few times and while living in various states. Location made a big difference as to which platform was any good. One city, Tinder would be king and give decent results, but next city it would be a wasteland with trash and bots.

    Post-covid, either the apps got even more money-hungry or I changed enough to not deal with the bullshit on those apps anymore. I found them worthless and haven't gone back.

    I recall one message that was almost word for word match for a DM I had gotten on Reddit in that similar timeframe. Something along the lines of using my body and leaving me ruined for life. I figured if a pseudonymous reddit account, no photos or physical description of me, no posts even vaguely waving in the direction of sexual things gets the same sort of messages as my actual, intentional dating profile, I no longer wanted to interact with the men on those forums. Yeah, yeah, "not all men" but there's no way to filter them out from the ones with baseline social skills.

  • How did you guys celebrate Christmas this year?

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  • Yo, want to swap YouTube recs for shits and giggles? I've got one new one from a sibling I'm particularly keen to explore.

    NightHawkinLight - really down-to-earth guy who finds ways to make more complicated chemical projects from home with easy to source ingredients. His latest videos are about DIY aircrete that might work in some projects I've been mulling.

    And I recommended Bobby Fingers, an Irish guy who makes dioramas. The topics he picks for his dioramas are hilarious. He made one of Fabio getting smacked in the face by a bird while riding a rollercoaster. His clay modeling skills are also amazing.

  • How did you guys celebrate Christmas this year?

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  • Chipping away at the largest cheese ball I have ever seen. My mom made it. I don't know why. She's never once made a holiday cheese ball before, but doggonit, if she's going to do it she'll go all out.

    Other than that, toodling around in my dad's garage/workshop using some tools I don't have myself at home. Probably play some board games later. Eat lots of food. Swap YouTube recommendations for makers/DIY type channels.

  • Who is an artist or public figure you still enjoy despite them being cancelled for bad behaviour?

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  • I like the world building in Fifth Element and Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets. But Luc Besson is probably a rapist and certainly a sexual assaulter. I'll watch his old stuff I already own but won't put any more money towards it nor support any new projects.

    Edit: oh, also he's not "cancelled". He came out with another movie this year or last, if I recall. 9 times our of 10, celebrities that say they were "cancelled" just had their feefees hurt by people on social media.

  • Amazon Workers at DJT6 Facility in Riverside Join Teamsters

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  • “It is a crime that Amazon makes billions off their backs while they can’t even afford to buy a home near the warehouse.”

    Randy Korgan, Director of the Teamsters Amazon Division and Secretary-Treasurer of Local 1932.

    Can confirm, I considered an engineering job in Riverside in ~2018. The salary offered to me as an early-to-mid career engineer was barely enough for the cheapest 1 bedroom apartment I could find. When I asked for a salary study, I was told "people make sacrifices" to work in CA and that I could find something cheaper by renting a room under the table or by commuting an hour-plus. If they would do that to a "white-collar" professional, imagine the coercion towards an hourly laborer consider low or "no" skilled.

    Good luck, folks working at DJT6. I'll be cheering for you.

  • Why does Lemmy feel ephemeral?

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  • I would use reddit for crowd-sourced hobby advice. If someone gave bad advice, most subs had plenty of other members who would quickly correct them and explain or even provide sources.

    Outside of Linux and a few other techy things, Lemmy doesn't have enough members experienced in hobbies that interest me to be able to rely on the community correcting itself.

    So I often see, eg, Bob from ABC community says something, but it sounds a little off to me. I don't know enough to say if Bob is right or wrong, and no one is chiming in with better advice. So it's a mostly worthless interaction.

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    What does the confederate flag mean to you?

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  • That's really cute and so sweet of your friend. Entirely different if someone is surprising you with a cake based on something you're interested in.

    Now I'm wondering how I would react if a friend gave me a CSA themed cake. "Here, Vanth, I know how much you like being a racist piece of shit." I would be wondering how I got my friendship so, so wrong.

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    What does the confederate flag mean to you?

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  • Is your brother an adult? No excuses based on age, I'm just trying to fathom motivations.

    Like, I can be passionate about my hobbies. I homebrew beer a lot but slapping beer on a cake would feel so childish. I follow the Scottish national rugby team, and would feel lame af putting their logo on my birthday cake, doubly so since I'm not Scottish and don't live in Scotland. I dabble in Linux but would die of cringe if I made a cake with some distro logo on it. I have some thoughts on political systems but it wouldn't even occur to me to put their symbols on my birthday cake. I also simply wouldn't want to make my birthday all about one niche interest.

    Out of all the passions and interests your brother has, he 1) decided the CSA flag is the one he most wants to elevate and 2) he wants so much to express his interest publicly, he would use his once-per-year special day to do it.

    Yeah, I'd skip the brother's birthday. I'm an adult and I get to pick my family and friends now. And I'm not picking blood relatives that bog me down with their hateful baggage.

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    Permanently Deleted

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  • Ask them why they stay married then. I have a lot of male colleagues who partake in "boomer humor" about how much they hate their wives. But they shut up real quick when I remind them no-fault divorce exists in our country (for now). I think they just like to whine and complain because admitting they have any sort of emotion other than anger is something they look down on.

  • Does anyone actually like... talk to extended family/relatives? Like an active effort to maintain relations and not just because of forced family gatherings?

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  • Yeah, the ones I have a connection with.

    Aunt because we talk plants. She's hella good at hoyas and I've learned a lot from her.

    Cousin because she ended up in a similar career field and we swap stories. Also some similar hobby interests.

    Another cousin who has similar interests when it comes to politics and volunteer work.

  • What's a time you stuck to your principles despite it being inconvenient to you?

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  • Dude, the church my family followed was similar. I was asked to sign a document pledging I would do all sorts of things, like raise the kid in the religion if their parents died, also to live a "moral sex life" and resist the evils of gay culture and drugs. I didn't sign and saw it as an act of honesty and respect to explain I couldn't fulfill their request.

    If you think so little of other people's religious beliefs that you would lie to become a godparent, you do you.

  • After watching the latest Veritasium video: why is the spin of a proton/electron decided at measurement, why not at creation?

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  • Also not how biological sex works either. The sperm carries both X and Y, contributing only one at time of fertilization (except for the rare chromosomal variation).

    Also, not at all related to spin of an electron. Not everything is impossible to observe state and location at the same time. I, for example, am currently observable on my couch with minimal motion in any direction.

  • NSFW

    Women of Ask Lemmy, what are your thoughts on this phrase, "if the bra and panties match, you weren't the one who decided to have sex tonight."

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  • Not sure the saying actually comes from a rom-com, but I sure could see it. Dumb. Can't even wear a set of goddamn underwear without someone overanalyzing it.

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    Anyone here suffering from vilolent and homicidal tendencies? how do you suppress these?

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    Is President Trump a real life version of Frank Fontaine from BioShock?

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