Smiling actually requires more muscles than not smiling, so if you were to smile, it would use up more energy and cause more wear and tear on more cells than any other reaction to a joke. So if you go through life without laughing at anything, you will use less energy and live longer. Furthermore, if you find a meme page on facebook that you like, you are more likely to visit it more often, and if you regularly spend your time looking at it, you will be more likely to stay up later, which reduces the amount of time you spend sleeping every night. Not only does that hurt your health, it also makes you more likely to drink caffeine, which can also be bad for your health. When you drink more and more caffeine every day, you eventually need more and more coffee to wake up every morning, so you will be more likely to drive to a coffee shop, which emits more fumes into the atmosphere. As the pollution level rises, it becomes harder and harder to breath clean air. So even though someone might think it would increase their lifespan to look at a funny meme instead of an unfunny meme, they would be right, because this image gave me cancer.
I then tried Make.com to achieve the same, but at 15 minute checks, will burn through the monthly free plan credits in ~10 days total.
Next I’ll either probably need to scale back the intrusiveness of the notifications so that I can use more typical methods of monitoring RSS feeds, or set up my own script with a cronjob, but then I’d need to figure out where I’ll actually run it, though I probably have some “no more costly than they already are” options for it.
E: actually one other possibility might be using another service to pre-filter the RSS feed so I can plug that into Zapier.
I did get a notification! But my first automation’s trial expired and the second service I tried both checks less frequently and will expire too in about 8 days. The bigger problem is that Hexbear decided it’d basically go down for 10 minutes right after I got the notification.
I haven’t poked at how feasible this would be, but it’d be cool if it could be bundled as a userscript so that it also works on mobile devices that support script managers.
Comic needs to come in gif form