If I'm not helping, I imagine there must be some unmentioned factor, such as someone pointing a gun at me and telling me to do that otherwise bad things would happen to me. Or I was slipped some drug that forced me to be a sadist. Without any other factor, I don't imagine myself doing that at all in the first place.
Edit: Also, the tortoise lies on its back, not lays
I'm the opposite, transfem with narrow hips. With me the dysphoria is more biochemical though, so if I'm on hrt it doesn't bother me as much, whereas if I'm off it I feel despair that I'll never look like a 'real girl'
Some areas take more times than others, at most it's ten times, with some it can be as low as three