Democracy just means people get to choose who leads them. You may be talking about specific societies where there's the illusion of democracy, but that's not a problem with democracy, it's a problem with capitalism.
You can't know. There are so many options for what could be true. All I can know for a fact is that I exist as a thinking being. The rest of my 'knowledge' exists within the framework that the world I experience through the senses is 'real'. And if it is brain chemicals, I fear knowing truth might not help. I'm also feeling a bit depressed right now, and the only thing that's really helped me is crying, and the right brain chemicals 😕
Oh, yeah, I know what you mean now. That like you assume they see a trans woman, rather than just a woman, and that's why they call you as a woman, because they're trying to be nice to trans people, rather than just seeing you as a woman.
If there really are only harmful options, for sure choose the least harm. But you have to make sure that you're not ignoring an option which involves no harm.
So we shouldn't even try?