The eth -> xmr route is probably the best, you can buy eth for cash in atm for extra anonymity. Then use one of non-kyc exchanges to swap it. Don't ever reuse the subaddress you used on the exchange and you should be good, if you feel extra paranoid you can transfer xmr to a new wallet after receiving it. Each transfer you make covers your tracks a bit more.
If this ever happens, do it from your own instance or make sure the owner doesn't mind. Don't make the volounteers running instances afraid of knocking to their door.
Is that slzb stable for you? I have one and it did all kinds of things, from losing connectivity to randomly changing its id, requiring re-pairing everything.
When I was going through that phase I've found a browser extension by none other than Cloudflare themselves, it just displayed their logo in orange if the connection was going through them. But I agree, an outage is more spectacular.
But the part about a nice email still applies. I'm not in it for the money, no positive feedback can be discouraging - typically I deal with issues where someone has a problem.