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RBWells

@ RBWells @lemmy.world

Posts
4
Comments
1852
Joined
3 yr. ago

  • what is the opposite of self-harm?

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  • Self care for me:

    Yoga class with other people.

    Going out for a Pokemon go walk

    Making healthy food that I enjoy (not trying to be virtuous and not junk either - nourishing and delicious).

    Having a drink on the porch - ONE drink - with my husband.

    Going to bed when I get sleepy and getting up when I wake up.

  • do most people really like the taste and smell of eggs?

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  • Smell, no. Taste, yes. I don't understand how something that stinks so much while cooking can taste so good but yes, I like fried eggs, boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, as long as they aren't overcooked they are good.

  • What’s a food you love that everyone else seems to judge you for?

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  • Anchovies. I wouldn't say judged but I'm alone in my love for them. Everyone in my house likes kimchi. It is loud smelling, I can sort of understand your family.

    Make them a kimchi grilled cheese, or the kimchi/butter noodles - sometimes having it cooked lets it "click" for people, that was the gateway kimchi for everyone else in my house.

    At work it's licorice, though the old lady directly across from me does like it. I can imagine not liking it, but yum it's my second favorite candy.

  • Oddly specific

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  • This all makes sense, But do guys even have the yes/no? Most who I talk to about this (both straight and gay) say it's more points for more beauty, that the prettier (for lack of a less gendered word) someone is, the more other stuff they might overlook, and that if someone is freaking awesome as a person, they can start to literally look more attractive to them. I don't experience either of those.

    Like they weight beauty in their evaluation, it's a factor to set on there with everything else.

    Oh boy do I agree it's dehumanizing, it reminds me of dog shows and how they have "conformation" as a quality. Racists make me think of dog breeders too, it's dehumanizing in a similar way. People aren't breeds and beauty isn't conformity.

  • Oddly specific

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  • I think my standards may not be standard (maybe nobody's are) and I think of that 1-10 as a more universal ranking, like something a committee would set standards for.

    Not whatever scale my husband is using that puts me at "smoking hot 10/10" when objectively that is not true, either, when I love someone they do not get better looking to me.

    So maybe. But it doesn't feel to me like it has much to do with how objectively good looking a guy is, it's more like whether I can look at him comfortably. Which might exclude extremely good looking guys actually.

    Both my long term guys I would put around the same good lookingness as me, so maybe buried in there is a ranking and it's not conscious. Maybe the filter is 4

    <x>

    9.

  • Oddly specific

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  • Yeah. I wouldn't call grooming unnatural, and the difference also had to do with staying in shape but yes - insofar as looks are something you do, and not just something you are, on average straight guys seem to do the least, and women generally do more to get looking how we want to look.

    Like, I don't makeup or straighten my hair but do at least organize my hair, do so much skincare, care how my clothes fit, work out, I guess just sort of care about appearance.

    As I get older this disparity increases, guys who could skate on youth and metabolism hit a wall and age faster than guys who did stuff to stay in shape and used sunscreen, some skincare.

  • Oddly specific

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  • I have been thinking about this, and I know when I was younger, most of the guys I knew were not physically attractive, more of the women made an effort and looked good. So it's not a ranking where you take ten people and line them up with 1 the ugliest and 10 the hottest, more like a percentage of possible good looks. Really there were no "10" guys around.

    That doesn't mean none were acceptable, at all- I'm sure I have written about this before but I'm straight and my judgement of guys' physical attractiveness is binary - in or out. You look good enough? That is good enough, and everything else about you matters more. I am not going to like you better because you are hotter, and nobody is so good looking I can want them just based on looks. You don't look good enough? Nothing else you are can matter. That "good enough" bar is not all that high, but it's a hard line.

    So the ranking of guys' looks like 1-10 or whatever is completely separate from how attractive I might find them, if that makes sense.

  • What fictional animal do you think would be the most delicious?

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  • Oh yes, with the leek!

  • What's one lifestyle or hobby you wish you got in to but never did?

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  • Hobby? I'm on the wrong coast for it but would love to learn to surf. Pretty sure I don't have time to get good at it. Music, I'd love to learn to play guitar or even to sing well. Not to perform. To be able to do it.

    Lifestyle? Not sure, I think what I would change is stuff I can't change without money or time I don't have.

  • What is something you can't do with 100M dollars but can do with 1B dollars?

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  • Give away 900 million dollars.

    I agree with your premise though - too rich is just hoarding. There is no real lifestyle benefit.

  • How long does it take for pregnancy to become noticeable?

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  • The first time, I was 5'9" and 125lb when I got pregnant, so not like I had anywhere to hide it, but I worked until 6 months without telling anyone and that is when it became impossible to hide.

    The subsequent times it happened faster, the belly was noticeable by 4 months or so, I could feel it before anyone else could tell in all cases.

    I had a history teacher who was hugely fat - she warned us she would be out on maternity leave, we thought she meant later in the year but she was gone the next week, and when she came back, looked no different at all.

  • Out with the old? Young Democrats are trying to convince voters to send a new generation to Congress

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  • I say this as a person with plenty of years. When the president is so ancient he is shitting himself at meetings, and congresspeople are dying in office - of old age- this has become a gerontocracy of the worst sort. One would hope that as people get older they have more experience, more perspective.

    At this point I would very strongly prefer that people younger than me be in office and I'm not even 60 yet. We need people with more stake in the future. 40-60 then out, retire for the sake of the country. Write a book or something.

  • How much do you pay for food each month?

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  • Yeah it's crazy, when I was a teenager we had the lowest cost grocery markets in the US, corn was often 5 cents an ear on sale, maybe 20 cents regular price, watermelon you could buy on the roadside for $1, those are about 1.50 and 7.00 now and that's pretty representative of the overall increase.

    I'm counting everything that is consumed here, by humans (so including entertaining but not pets). Our total housing cost with electricity & insurance and taxes is really high here too (and is another thing that used to be cheap) , but again that housing is holding 5 people right now.

  • How much do you pay for food each month?

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  • 5 person household, all adults now, mostly physically active. Probably 4k a month all-in.

    That includes some booze, not much eating out and is paid by all of us so average 800 / month per person, but not evenly spread, kids are more frugal and do meal prep for lunches and husband and I spend more, and feed all of us once a day at least. Not much junk food, buy ingredients not premade things and I do have a garden.

  • MS NOW shared AI-manipulated Alex Pretti photo on TV, website and YouTube. Here's what we know

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  • Yuck

    Beyond the obvious problem with conflating good with pretty

    I don't think pushing a person towards a more generic middle look makes them more attractive.

    RIP dude.

  • What is the best way to drop 50lbs in two months without spending alot and no fad diets?

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  • That sentence makes no sense. Figure out the amount you would need to eat and work out to MAINTAIN your desired weight and start doing that. Let it take however long it takes, then keep doing that to maintain, or tweak it to improve.

    50lb in 2 months sounds dangerous as fuck. You could stop eating and probably lose that much, fuck up your metabolism, and immediately gain it back without even eating as much as you did before.

  • me_irl

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  • Damn, I want a man with a cheese shed!

    Perfect man

    Goes out to the cheese shed to bring me sharp cheddar

  • I would like to go to there

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  • God no. I had a 1967 mustang. Had to fix it every time I drove it, it drank gas like a gasoholic, everything was manual but in terms of life and cost, it was the most expense for the fewest miles and not reliable. Like even if it had been newly manufactured to the same specs it would not be reliable or safe or even fun to drive.

    My brother, meanwhile, had a Corolla he kept for 300k miles without much maintenance.

    I am still in my 2014 Honda, and expect to be able to use it for 10 more years. Now do I think the 2024 better than the 2014? Not really, most of what I want was already in this one, but modern cars are so much better built than vintage cars were.

  • Trump Says He Wants to 'Drive Housing Prices Up' Instead of Lowering Costs for People Who 'Didn't Work Very Hard'

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  • I agree. It doesn't help me that people who work in my town can't live in my town. It doesn't help me when taxes go up on my house. I have the same house if prices crash lower than we bought. I have the same house if prices go up.

    In fact - if prices bottom out and we can keep our jobs, maybe I have a better house because maybe we can afford to do some reno that is too expensive right now because housing is so expensive.

    "Didn't work so hard" WTF? Did Trump work hard? There seems almost no correlation between who works hard and who has money. Some who work hard have money, some don't. Some who never worked at all have money, some don't.