So I struggle with something similar and it turns out it's because I'm autistic. Maybe you are neurodivergent too? If you decide to consider this idea, I recommend to check out content where neurodivergent people talk about their condition. I would never consider I might be autistic just using descriptions by neurotypicals, the difference is huge.
Now, about your actual question... I don't really have a perfect solution. I personally use marijuana. I usually plan the time to take a break from all the projects and learning at the end of the day. I make sure all the important chores are already taken care of. Weed definitely does help but I see how it's far from a perfect solution. Ideally, you wouldn't rely on any external substance for your wellbeing.
Many people recommend meditation as a way to regain control of racing thoughts. I was never able to make that work though. Whenever I try I just start working on one of my projects in my head...
I mean, I am applying various kinds of science but I'm not actually doing any science so I'm not thinking about myself as a scientist. What I do is solving problems - I'm an engineer.
What about the "I" in "I shout to the the empty house"? This would mean that the pizza guy refers to himself in first person in the first line but in the third person in the second line which seems very unusual to me.
So you're saying that the person in the meme did not order the pizza but wants to keep it and tries to accomplish that by pretending there are other people with them? I'm confused, why wouldn't they just take it without saying anything? How would the delivery person know they are not the one who ordered?
That was the plan but honestly I don't think I can right now. It's kinda hard to explain, I'm also not sure at all whether I fully understand my own feelings about this. The part of me that doesn't even want any relationship is the rational and logical part. The same part thought that being friends is on the table. But the emotional part just screams that it's all or nothing.
Anyway, even just considering the fact that I was perfectly content with my life for years prior to this meeting, and the meeting sent me on a rollercoaster of emotions I haven't felt in years, I don't think it's very reasonable to continue this thing.
Thanks for commenting. Responding to people here helps me organize my thoughts.
The funny thing is that sex isn't even a part of the equation here, not on the conscious level at least. Sex is not what I want from her. But yeah, what you wrote still stands true. Brain chemistry doesn't care.
Usually I pride myself on being a very logical person. Losing control of emotions is very out of character for me and it's kind of a shock.
The direct cause of the breakup was her infidelity. To be frank, I don't hold any resentment for her. If I did, I wouldn't want to meet her in the first place. We were both immature as fuck back then.
There's a lot of discrepancies in how we want to live our lives and in our needs. She wants to travel, explore, meet people, etc. I prefer comfortable routine and deep focus on my hobbies and passions. She needs someone who will give her quite a lot of attention, will do all these things with her. I need a lot of alone time.
In fact, the biggest problem is that I don't even want to be in a relationship. For the most part I love being single. I love being completely independent and in control of my life. I love my routines and my hobbies.
I mean, I know this doesn't even make any sense. I don't want a relationship so what do I even want? After meeting her I feel like I need her in my life. It's obviously not a rational feeling and frankly, probably not a healthy one too. It also sets off alarms in my head because when we were together I became much too dependent on her.
All those intense feelings aside, I think she's just a very intelligent and valuable person. I love talking with her and there are quite a few things we enjoyed doing together. Add to that my preference for being single and that's why I thought we could be just friends. But apparently she works quite literally like a drug on me. Makes me lose control of my emotions and grip on reality.
Ok, I think I'm just rambling at this point. Thanks for asking the question though. Writing about your feelings is a form of therapy I guess.
I feel that last part. Recently I ran into a colleague with his wife (whom I never met). I said "hi" but tried to look like I'm in hurry and just kept going because I have no fucking clue how to deal with that situation.
As a huge NixOS enthusiast I wholeheartedly agree with you. It works amazing for me but only because my autistic ass hyperfixated on it to the point of tinkering with it every afternoon for months.
I would love to be able to recommend NixOS to people but unfortunately, the lack of good documentation is a huge problem.
R1, R2 and R3 are endlessly confusing to me. I still mix them up sometimes after over a year of owning PS5. It makes no sense that they aren't in any order! It should be 1 - trigger, 2 - bumper, 3 - stick or in reverse. In order in the top - down axis.
So I struggle with something similar and it turns out it's because I'm autistic. Maybe you are neurodivergent too? If you decide to consider this idea, I recommend to check out content where neurodivergent people talk about their condition. I would never consider I might be autistic just using descriptions by neurotypicals, the difference is huge.
Now, about your actual question... I don't really have a perfect solution. I personally use marijuana. I usually plan the time to take a break from all the projects and learning at the end of the day. I make sure all the important chores are already taken care of. Weed definitely does help but I see how it's far from a perfect solution. Ideally, you wouldn't rely on any external substance for your wellbeing.
Many people recommend meditation as a way to regain control of racing thoughts. I was never able to make that work though. Whenever I try I just start working on one of my projects in my head...
Good luck!