___ In my specific story my girlfriend at the time (early 20s) started actively cheating on me with a man who lied about his age but turned out to be in his mid 30s. She would have him over at our place a ton and do increasingly degrading things to me around him to get off on it.

Me, being in love and severely depressed after my cat died, didnt really voice my concerns out of fear of being left alone during a very bad time. Eventually the behavior got strictly sexually degrading, but we eventually broke up when my depression made it so she wasnt feeling empowered by taking advantage of me anymore.

When I finally came forward and told my friends/mutuals what had happened, it turned out she had already painted me as the sole abuser in the relationship and that I was going insane. So many close friends stopped talking to me and I only started to get opportunities to say my peice years later when my story hadnt changed and old friends bothered to actually hear me out

The worst aspects were bad faith interactions with women telling me that it couldnt have been SA because I was a man, or that since she was my girlfriend it couldnt have been traumatic.

People are much more understanding now when I talk about it and I'm in a much better place overall.