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Fester

@ Fester @lemm.ee

Posts
1
Comments
205
Joined
3 yr. ago

  • TIL the US Government once released its own video game to inform, educate, and recruit prospective soldiers.

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  • Every game I play teaches me that I will immediately die in real life if anything bad ever happens.

    Every FPS - shot dead immediately. No respawning.

    Scary game - heart attack immediately.

    Every sword game - maimed horrifically.

    Zombie apocalypse - eaten immediately, and I’ll turn into a fat one that explodes later.

  • I bet the one on the left doesn't even have a fake Swedish name.

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  • “This is yours now, son. A little bit of water spilled on it 3 weeks ago, so it will fall apart if you use it.”

  • Cords

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  • Kentucky State Fair removes ribbon-winning miniature after realizing it depicted a porn set

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  • Well I only opened the article to see the aforementioned buttcheek indents

  • Kentucky State Fair removes ribbon-winning miniature after realizing it depicted a porn set

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  • There’s a little clapperboard on it that says “The Casting Couch”

  • Removed

    I guess we doin'

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  • I’d just get a real one - “Magic Wand Original” or the rechargeable version. There are a lot of fakes, so I’d avoid any counterfeit that tries to look real, or just get an altogether different massager. Go for a reputable authorized retailer like Adam and Eve or Good Vibrations.

    It melts certain types of headaches too. And yes, you can use it on your dick.

  • Removed

    I guess we doin'

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  • I bought one for my wife thinking we’d use it to lazily pump out orgasms, but 90% of its usage ended up on my shoulders and back. That was their original intention after all. They rebranded it to distance the Hitachi name from sex stuff, because that’s what everyone thinks it’s intended for now.

    Anyway, go for the wireless one.

  • Donald Trump abruptly ends interview: "We're in danger"

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  • My slug sense is tingling

  • NSFW

    rule

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  • “Oh. So, their cum.”

  • TIL that Donald Rumsfeld holds the record for being both the youngest and oldest Secretary of Defense in US history ('75-'77 and '01-'06)

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  • Lizard people are able to disrupt electronics like cameras and microphones.

  • Elon Musk wants to implant millions of people with Neuralink brain chips

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  • “Free calls. Free internet. For everyone. Forever.”

  • Wow, they really attacked gamers. Conservatives speedrunning how to be hated by everybody.

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  • Hey hey, come on over, have some fun with Crrrrazy Taxi!

    🎵Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!

  • Chick-fil-A plans to launch streaming service with original shows

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  • Maybe they can take the 700 Club off Freeform and then shut down.

  • The US says it now supports a more ambitious plastics treaty. Industry groups are furious.

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  • They’ll be dead, but their descendants will build self-sustaining fortresses with robot guards in the 11th hour, eventually surrounded by slums full of slaves who will fight each other for their entertainment.

  • Deleted

    Permanently Deleted

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  • I tried. Damn this accursed battery!

  • How often do you feed your cat wet food compared to dry food?

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  • 2 cats.

    Their automatic feeder spits out ~10 grams of dry food 7 times throughout the day. They mostly worked out their own system for sharing and taking turns. I often manually give one more if one of them complains. The small portions helped with competitive over-eating and vomiting.

    Then at night they get about 25 grams each of wet food. So a 5.5 oz. can lasts 3 days.

  • Organic Maps got removed from Google Play Store.

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  • The app showed me a skyscraper and now I feel inadequate.

  • Smart sous vide cooker to start charging $2/month for 10-year-old companion app

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  • Imagine seeing that message and buying another product from them.

    “It’s time to artificially create waste. Don’t worry, you won’t see this message again. Our new cookers are designed to not last 10 years.”

  • Tacoma Wept

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  • One of the biggest success I’ve ever seen.