I drank a lot this night. Felt good but i feel like the effects take a toll. I usually drink because i feel like if im not entitled to a yes, i am entitled to be sad and suffer, but even though i feel better after crying and drinking, i think it would be better for me to take the rejection more maturely and not let myself be sad over it. The main problem is that when im rejected, i feel like i will never hear a "yes". I never try to show frustration in front of the woman, i try to make sure that i took the rejection rightly and she doesnt need to worry about anything, but the moment i feel like i and her are not visible to each other anymore i go drink