For me that post wasn't about "faking it", but truly finding something in yourself you can take confidence in. So I guess, as you said, putting effort towards other things seems like it could work, and also having interests and projects is attractive! At least to me it is.

And i get being bitter and defensive if you have been hurt, but that is only going to push others away. I don't write this to give advice so apologies if it sounds like that. What you wrote just reminded me of a guy I know with mild autism who has a similar view on life and relationships. And he is cool, fun, knows a lot about interesting topics, and yeah is also oblivious about social clues but that is not a problem. What is a problem is when he is bitter, defensive and blames everything on others while not seeing what he does wrong (probably related with his condition but still). When he is like that, he is a chore to be around, and when people try to tell him he only feels attacked so he won't listen. As I said, no advice, just wanted to share, maybe it's not that similar to your case. Best of luck to you