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679
Joined
3 yr. ago

  • I mean that's what this post is about right? There are ways to connect with people, however it's "euagh" to do them. Completely understandable.

  • I'm not disagreeing there. I would have ranked that under the "sleeping" point, I thought "going to bed" was other rituals people do, undressing, removing makeup, brushing teeth, reading part of a good book, etc.

  • I agree kinda. However, I'm not discouraging them as to their protesting potentially being useless now. I'm trying to stop you from doing that negative thing/showing others it's fine to do it now.

    There are valid reasons why not to protest/revolt before the election. No one knew how it would turn out, Rs could have been crushed. Even with Trump, it wasn't incredibly likely that he would let Musk completely dismantle everything. Of course it was a possibility, but it's a bit different to protest a possibility and to protest something actually happening, so I think it's fine if you would protest in the one case but not the other.

    Was that more helpful?

  • Thanks. It was answered a bit further up. But it's still a bit weird that I had to come to the comments and even here nobody wanted to say it :D I think the "not knowing from the article" is still valid. Not everyone knows everything.

  • In the 90s, I barely even knew what the English language was.

  • You could probably call it some kind of disability of executive functioning... Many people with disabilities manage fine without a personal assistant.

  • Locked

    Shutdown 315

    Jump
  • It's more use posting it here than not posting it here. People here can see it and share on traditional social media.

    However the question is if there are any labor organizations officially participating in this. If not, this seems a bit weird. And what are the actual demands? Change to what? These are the bigger problems than the location of the post.

  • So lucky this is only mild. Imagine if it was anything really really bad.

  • But I'm just sitting here, genuinely wondering what the slur is she used, because I have no idea. I'm not well versed in trans slurs. Idk, news reporting should at least give me some way to find out... Like a spoiler tag to click on. Just... something.

  • I'm not saying this doesn't suck, but

    "commute", if public transport, is 2 hours to be on dating apps (or to say hi to people if you're so bold), "bathe" is 1 hour, "get in bed" is probably 30 mins. So 3:30h daily in your specific example to possibly be on dating apps.

    But apart from that... I live alone, and daily chores are 0-5min. Making and eating food is 20min. 1h Bathing you don't need every day, 10min shower is fine. How can you take 1h to go to bed, takes 5 mins for me. That would theoretically free 3:20h for relationships, which is fine each day.

  • What an incredibly helpful comment.

  • I've got backups. Haven't updated or looked at my server in months. If I'm ever compromised by missing security updates, I just load a backup and regenerate all keys.

    I don't put any critical data on public facing servers.

  • You've already taken the first step. You want to.

    This is not some thing you can just adopt whenever you want, like putting the plates on the right side of the dishwasher instead of the left. This will require some serious continuous practice.

    Basically, to retrain your reaction to things, you must 1. understand why your current/natural reaction is undesirable 2. understand which reaction you think is desireable 3. Repeatedly expose yourself to the situation that triggers your reaction with the main goal to change your reaction.

    1 and 2. requires you to continually remind yourself of these beliefs. You will forget when you slip back into your natural reaction.

    3 is not easy. You can't just manufacture adversity. It has to be real. It's very easy to have a specific controlled reaction to something fake. So essentially, you just continue as normal, risk things, always keeping in mind that you can face adversity. You mentally prepare yourself for it so you can notice when it happens. "When I start this new job, people might be offended when I tell them I don't want to talk to them. That is fine. I accept that they can be offended, because rejection is not a nice thing to experience, and that is what I do to them. However, I prefer this to having to suffer through their rambling. I know that this will likely cause them to help me less or actively oppose me, and I am fine with that outcome."...

    And then you just do it anyway. When your setback happens, you will first feel frustrated. But then eventually you will get a rational moment. See what is happening to you again. And then you can remember what you've been thinking so far. That it's ok for this to happen. That being frustrated by it achieves nothing. And whatever else you figured out with 1. and 2. Each thing you remember should help you let go. Taking deep breaths and other relaxation techniques help with letting go.

    And the result should be that you're slightly less frustrated, for a slightly shorter time than you would've been without doing all this. It's still essentially the same strength the first time, but it should be a little less.

    And then you have another disappointment. That time, doing the same thing, it should sting even less and for even shorter. And so on and so on.

    For me, I'm not sure how long and how many things it took. I know it was quite a few and over quite some years. Now, when I feel this frustration, it's just a slight tinge for a few seconds at most, when I remember what I believe and that I'm fine with this, and then I can already completely let it go. Like others said, it's a completely natural reaction, you might still feel like that. But eventually you're so good at letting go that it takes mere seconds and then you're completely fine.

  • Yes

    Jump
  • Please don't post fake tweets. It's not helping.

  • There's a simple reason why reposts will always happen, never stop: different people have seen different things. Your reposts are other people's never-seen-before content.

  • I'm pretty sure there was some tool to populate instances with content, I think by creating an artificial user that automatically follows communities or something. Don't know how to find it though.

  • It doesn't rub me the wrong way because it's incredibly understandable. People are generally jealous, people have hangups with trust, people want to feel powerful.

    Whatever the guy's reason is exactly, he is essentially not fine with what his wife wants to do, and even if she is completely fine with not doing something to alleviate her husband's uncomfortableness, the need to do so in the first place is simply sad. It would just be optimal if everyone could do whatever they want at all times.

    I make it a point to figure out my issues (why am I uncomfortable with something?) and if it makes sense to get rid of it, to get rid of it. It'd be nice if everyone did that but people are often just not in a mental place to be able to do that.

    So in the end, I do very much understand what you mean, however I don't really get upset by this. It's incredibly common to "restrict" your partner like this, I mean, monogamy itself is already a restriction. So like you said, you should just let people do what they do, and be happy that it's not like that for you.

  • I just use the qbittorrent "search" feature. Add some of the search plugins for different sites that you can find when you open the search options.

    *Arrs are nicer, but a lot to setup imo. qbittorrent you just download, open it when you need it, and then you're done with it. If you don't torrent a lot, it's more time-efficient.

  • Yep, as long as you don't visit "local" and no instances are defederated, you simply get the whole fediverse, there isn't any other experience available at that point.