I have a problem with the feeling of love, and I think it sabotages most of my relationships, platonic and romantic

I really suck at mapping feelings to situations. I don’t know what causes this (I don’t know if the what or the why even matters), but sometimes it can fucking hit. I can go from feeling everything to feeling nothing, and the latter makes me believe I never truly felt the way I thought I did. Can anyone relate?

Maybe it’s as simple as boundaries? Maybe I discover dealbreakers that are hard to ignore? Maybe it’s because sometimes, I feel like I need more alone time than usual, and people always seem to take this personally. Which is why I force myself to hang around for way too long

I fear this is something that therapy can never fix because I am simply describing neurodivergence incarnate