I have so many things I want to do but just can’t. Play a video game, read a book, take dog for walk, build a gadget I bought parts for, finish writing a song, finish building a computer… But no, I just sit there stuck. How do I get unstuck?
Imake a list and number them and then go on random.org and have it choose an integer and then i do the the thing on the list that matches the number randomly chosen.
This way i’m not making a decision, the lord of chaos is.
This except for the dog walk. Don’t make the dog wait!
My wife has a dog too. With the large fenced in yard, they are good to go. They can run faster than I ever will. It’s more about the bonding part.
Ah, that sounds lovely. I didn’t know if you had a yard at all so erred on the side of caution
Tried it, not a great success… The only result is making me not want whatever was chosen anymore.
- Movie A or movie B?
- I can’t decide… I want to watch both…
- Lets flip a coin.
- The coin says movie A.
- I don’t want movie A anymore. Movie B it is then.
- Wait maybe the coin is using reverse psychology on me… I should pick movie C that wasn’t in the list just to be safe.
My brain has this awful tendency of going “I could have done it a minute ago but now that someone else told me to I can’t anymore”
If you flip a coin and don’t like the answer that just means you already decided but didn’t realize you had decided.
No it’s really that the result feels like a decision imposed on me and my brain can’t deal with that… It’s the same if I start to do something I want, then someone calls to tell me to do it and now I can’t do it anymore. Not sure if it’s PDA or something else, but it’s really annoying, especially in combination with AuDHD.
Was just about to suggest it might be PDA. I have a bit of that and it is rather annoying. Some techniques ive used go combat this:
- challenge yourself. Or someone else challenge you to do a thing. “I bet you can’t do x.”
- give yourself a couple choices that lead to the same result and then just lick one. This one can be tough if im feeling indecisive.
Neither are perfect but they do help sometimes.
Nice suggestions, thanks!
Challenges usually get the opposite reaction than demands for me, I can’t even count all the stuff I’ve done because of it. Maybe self (not-)imposed challenges would work? I’ll need to give it a try. Though challenges also have their problems, like picking the most stupid or pointless ideas because I was advised not to do it. I think there’s a correlation between how stupid and pointless an idea is and how quickly my brain latches onto in 😅
Also with the list. Just not the random thing. I pick a small thing off the list and knock out, that sense of accomplishment helps me knock other things off the list.
Python and other programming languages can do that too, if the person also wants everything offline, and/or can’t focus while waiting for webpages to load.
Been using that myself and though not ideal since too many concurrent interests, it helps a bunch.
If the person doesn’t know how to code, just ask some of those AI tools available around. If on Windows, the person could even ask for the AI to make a .bat script that only exits after pressing enter or the sort, to be as straight-forward as possible.
This is a good one! Thanks!
Drugs. Amphetamines specifically - doctor managed, not street level self medication. Then flip a coin and take one step in any direction.
I have a list, and if I can’t do thing N, I try to do thing N+1.
Works somewhat ok for me, I don’t know if it could help.
I’ve been there and felt a lot of guilt for not doing all the things I wanted to.
One thing that helped was stopping to think about why I wanted to do each thing. A lot of the time, it was just impulsive and led to an overwhelming list that kept me stuck in the same loop.
Reflecting on what I actually cared about made it easier to focus and follow the other suggestions here. Not exactly what you asked for, but worth considering.
One thing that helped was stopping to think about why I wanted to do each thing.
Boom. This was big for me too. Usually my issue is holding myself to non-existent time constraints, like “I want to do X but I have to get Y done or I can’t until next weekend.” Ok, why is it a problem that Y can’t be done next weekend? Obviously if it’s something like a chore or errand it doesn’t apply, but if it’s just a little side project I’ve been working on, Y can wait if I’d rather do X, especially if I’m just going to sit and wallow over not doing either instead.
Mise en place. If you’re not familiar, it’s a practice in cooking to have everything you will need set up and ready before you begin. You can do it with other kinds of tasks, too. I find it way easier to prep for tasks than to just do them. And prepping makes it mentally easier to just transition into doing.
one thing that can sometimes work for me is to just commit to 5 minutes. Set a timer and see what i can do in 5 minutes and if i want to stop i can.
Pomodoro timer. It’s been my go to for a decade.
This is different to a pomo timer but yeah those work great
I found that picking something really small and succeeding helps motivate me to succeed at other things I want to accomplish.
Make a list of shit you want to get done. Do one tjing on it.
While youre busy not doing that youll probably get some others done.
What works for me is starting on an easy and rewarding chore first. With ADHD, the promise of distant rewards are a poor motivator. What works is to incorporate the reward into the first task and you will find its easier to move on to the next task. I.e., take the dog for a walk, but grab an icecream/coffee/beer whatever while you’re doing it. Think about the the things you will do next while you’re on that walk. YMMV, but this is how I do it.
If you are undiagnosed and unmedicated, you can try a very strong cup of coffee, or an energy drink. Ritalin is also a stimulant, and caffeine has similar effects.
Beware though, if you consume caffeine regularly, this won’t work.
My recommendation: drink only water on normal days, drink very strong caffeinated drink in case of emergency.
It does give you a headache later in the day, and/or the day after, so keep that in mind.
I already have coffee daily. Extra does work occasionally.
It’s helpful, but it’s no replacement for good meds. Not all stimulants are created equal.
Thanks for the addition, I never meant to imply that but I should have specified. For me personally it’s the best I can legally get because I can’t get a diagnosis.
Make a list, do the first thing you put on it. I figure whatever I think of first is what I subconsciously want to do most and anything is better than nothing.
I motivate myself by being my own drill sergeant. I run myself into doing things by not letting the voice in my head push me into nothing. I force myself up and out. Bike rides, walks, and other hobbies I use to calm myself. I don’t let my demons stop me from doing nothing. Unless it’s recharge time. Then I’ll give myself a break.
Holy cow, all your todos sound very very similar to mine!
I’ve been there far too often and beaten myself up for not doing anything to no help at all. After I finally dragged my “lazy” ass to the doc being depressed af and got a diagnosis i understood how bad i was. Now i have methylphenidat (Ritalin uno extended release) i can actually do something. I would never be able to do what i can now without it. I cannot see any other way or any technique that can work as well as my meds without also feeling like beating and wipping myself along at the same time. The meds makes the beating and wipping unnecessary and im just more happy.
I hope you find a way, but if you know you have adhd and you have trouble please go talk with your doc about it.
I’m sorry but I have no other recommendations than meds that I can confidently say will have a lasting effect. Then while on meds you can hopefully gain some new strong habits that over time can minimise the need for them, but learning those same habits without, will be nothing but self torture.
speed.
Use sparingly. Too much power in that.
Lay down for a minute, close your eyes and just let your brain babble about shit for a bit. Then, pick one at random and try to start it. Maybe try to find something engaging to think about, because then you’ll be more comfortable with doing stuff.
