I got divorced like 5 months ago after a 9 years with this girl who cheated on me, emotionally abused me, etc etc

I’ve been suicidal since the split, getting worse by the day still, and literally nobody ever asked if I was OK, aside from my mom. Even when I begged close friends for support they basically just ghosted me. My ex is surrounded by support, from the same people who I thought were my best friends.

Do I just have shitty people around me or is this just what guys deal with? The attitude towards me is just “get over it”. I’ve lost almost everyone I’m close to because of this and I’m starting to think there might actually be one viable option of getting over it because existing is simply torture. All of 2025 felt like just a bad dream but it’s unfortunately real.

Edit: Yes I have a counselor - a very good one I see weekly.

  • peoplebeproblems@midwest.socialEnglish
    832·
    7 days ago

    Bro. I am gonna be real with you.

    I was in an abusive relationship too. She cheated on me at 30 and blamed me. I am not going to sugar coat this.

    It will fuck you up for a great long while. This all happened to me in 2020. I’ve been through intensive outpatient therapy. I’ve lost 100 lbs.

    It still hurts when it comes to me. You are grieving. This ain’t depression. 40% of men who experience an unfaithful long term marriage commit suicide. You are heartbroken. You are realizing this ain’t you.

    It will get better. Little by little. And I still have a long ass ways to go. I’m not even officially divorced yet.

    I’m not going to give you advice, because the only thing I understand, is that I finally found me again, and I like that dude a hell of a lot more than I like who I was with my ex.

    But it’s going to suck the entire time. The entire 5 years has sucked. But I finally see a light. There is a pinprick of light. I’m heading towards it. You can’t see it yet. I understand. But it’s there.

    • Drusas@fedia.io
      411·
      7 days ago

      That statistic seems awfully high. I don’t suppose you recall where you read it?

      • peoplebeproblems@midwest.socialEnglish
        241·
        6 days ago

        You know, I can’t seem to find it right now.

        It was in a paper discussing “Immediate effects of Post-Infidelity-Stress-Disorder”.

        I was also given a similar number after my attempt (1/3rd of men)

        • Hacksaw@lemmy.ca
          2·
          6 days ago

          It’s probably attempt suicide. There is generally an order of magnitude between attempt and commit. But I’m not downplaying how shitty it is tho.