transcription: cute date idea, we go to a cabin in the woods completely off the grid, you cant tell anybody where were going, make sure you bring one of those enema things, dont worry you can trust me. once we arrive you need to wear this blindfold, we dont want to ruin the surprise now do we? its okay, you can trust me. ill bring you inside the, ill bring you inside okay,. you may or may not hear the sounds of a television playing “the human centipede” a 2009 dutch body horror film directed by tom six, redubbed in german, dont concern yourself with this. dont worry, you can trust me. if you follow my direction well, then you can take off the blindfold, dont worry about if you dont, we can talk about that later. inside the, inside, you will find various types of pasta, some soft, some hard, some cooked, some uncooked, you will be tasked with making me macaroni art depicting how much you love me, and then after a… mild review process, we can proceed to the “fun” part of the evening. dont worry you can trust me. if you go into the very back room you will notice a pool, please slather yourself in mayo and enter, dont worry you can trust me, get on ~~all fours and open your mouth, dont worry you can trust me, i enter with a camera and cattle pro… ~~